Plethysmograph

If Stewart talked, what would he say?

Enough to keep you here ten more years

Where we zap ya with our 'therapy'

Throw the switch on your fantasies

With our little electronic ring

Clamped around your love thang

Flash ya pictures, Clockwork Orange-style

Let's see what makes Stewart smile

Yow! Yow! Yow! Try not to expand

Yow! Yow! Yow! Don't trip the Plethysmograph

If the machine catches you erect

Ain't no way you're getting' outta here

Back to aversion therapy

As we watch our toys watch you

Flood your face with ammonia gas

And a scent of rotting placentas

Little electric shock or two

This is how we cure you

Yow! Yow! Yow! Don't let it expand

Yow! Yow! Yow! Can't trick the Plethysmograph

Little girls and boys, Panties past their thighs

Try not to rise (3 strokes, you're out!)

Comely amputees scratch themselves for fleas

Down at Muscle Beach (3 strokes, you're out!)

Grand Wizard Newt in a sailor suit

Dancing with a flute (3 strokes, you're out!)

Brazilian babes titties made of clay

Spread their waxy legs for Great Danes

Who invents this stuff? Do their kids join cults?

What do they fantasize to get themselves off

Wanna see child porn? Join the vice squad

In the name of correction we play with all we want

Nothing is private any more

Lie detectors were never this fun

Says the Attorney General Man

As he ends the morning prayer meeting

Back to his office for electronic ring

Clamps it on his sinful thang

Rewind the tape, lemme see some more

So I can feel my eagle soar

Yow! Yow! Yow! He's speaking in tongues

Yow! Yow! Yow! Now he can't shut it off

Yow! Yow! Yow! Crashing through the glass

Yow! Yow! Yow! Praise the Plethysmograph