Ignore Tenderness

I've been trying to
Be turned on by you
Be turned on by myself
Or anything else
Been watching porn
Lights off, headphones on
Right when pleasure begins
My education creeps in
I've been stripping right down
Staring at my own reflection
Ever since I was thirteen, I've been
Pulled in every direction
Such a good student
Of all that conflicting advice
Go put ice in your mouth
Let them slap you about
Go on, choke yourself out
But leave no room for doubt
That you are brave
Beneath the sheets, you're just a cave
A plastic bucket, or a grave
Who said you're not what you get
You are what you gave away?
I've been thinking back
To when things went off track
You know that's not what I wanted
Is that why I feel haunted?
By something small
Strong enough to destroy it all
If I don't change soon
Will it forever eclipse the moon?
That keeps me stable
Away from all of that advice
That put words in my mouth
All those drinks on the house
Go on, just let it all out
But leave no room for doubt
That you are brave
A little leaf catching a wave
Strong but willing to be saved
Ignore the tenderness you crave
Be naughty but don't misbehave
Who said you're not what you get
You are what you gave away?