What Am I?

I woke up this morning just to see what I'd become

Oh, what am I? Oh, what am I?

Looked up at my reflection told it, "get off my thumb!"

Oh, what am I?

"Hi: I'm a fly

A big nasty hairy fucker

Wiping shit off my legs right now."

"Well, the initial shock won't last long"

Said the doctor as he looked me in the eyes

"And the ensuing disgust with everything

And self loathing will just be a part of your new disguise"

What am I? What am I?

What am I? What am I?

I walked into space or maybe well, well, well below

I saw into the past when life was but a gas

Waving at the astronauts I was cracking my meat, taking the heat

They said, "be all you can be"

And exactly what is that?

What am I?

I'm a racehorse on a golf course

I'm a priest with a lug wrench

Can tighten the harness

Snug as a wigwam

Quick as a whistle

Soft as a pom pom, I don't know

You know, life is what you build

And how much time that you can cram

Point me in the right direction, tell me what I am

What am I?

Yeah, what am I?

What am I?

What am I?

What am I?

What am I?

What am I?

What am I?

Yeah, what am I?

Hey, what am I?

What am I?

What am I? What am I? What am I?

What am I? What am I?

What am I? What am I? What am I? What am I?

What am I?

What am I? What am I?

What am I? What am I? What am I?

What am I? What am I? What am I?