Four Years Old

[Hook]

Cause there is something I should let you know

It's my birthday and I'm four years old

[Verse 1]

Let's start a chant

Let's have a sing-a-long

If you don't feel it then you must have been drinking wrong

What day is it? Is it Saturday?

It doesn't matter 'cause to me it's St. Patrick's Day

Imma play darts and I don't even like darts

I be a very small piece on that pie chart

If I were at home I'd be in no less danger

Drunk on the internet typing all my thoughts to strangers

If I were in Philly I would say to Dennis

I'll serve Patty's in ping pong or table tennis

Frontin like you as cold as me

I'll merc Big Buck Hunter and Golden Tee

I'll order two shots of water in my tube socks

I got ten bucks worth of quarters for the juke box

I bet y'all think I'm going to order 2Pac

And that's racist

And that's tasteless

I want some motherfucking Clash because I'm wasted

I'll Rock The Casbah and sock your grandma

Now put your glasses up I command ya

Now put your glasses up

[Hook]

[Verse 2]

Whether a beer or fermented orange peelings

Either way it all starts with a warm feeling

I get talkative

The exact opposite as I was walking in

That's when it all begins

I get the urge to bug folks I shouldn't call again

Am I going to talk to Earl? man it all depends

Did I eat dinner? Did I drink agua?

Is it top shelf liquor? Is it cheap vodka?

Imma give you one rule that you gotsta follow

Never ever buy booze in a plastic bottle

I swear to god you gon' feel it in your ass tomorrow

Gonna need an Alka Seltzer and a large ginger

Whether carry cash, or you're a big card spender

Don't forget to tip your motherfucking bartender

And don't pinch her in the rear

Because then she'll disappear

What you do is you go and whisper in her ear...

[Hook]

[Verse 3]

Hey, yo

Hey you with the natural hair

I'm gonna stop the beat, look at you and stare

You've got a passionate flair

And you look like your vagina could capture a bear

And I'm not intimidated

I'd come up and holla but I've got a situation

I don't really want to mention

Let's just say you've got me at full attention

How long can this rap last?

Hopefully long enough to get me back to half mast

Because if I go from this distance

The whole damn dance club is going to know my business

But I am coming over there

I gotta know if the under is as fly as the overwear

It doesn't matter if I get the cold shoulder there

Because if it's cold, imma play polar bear

[Hook]

[Outro]

I had a Fat Tire with Sahtyre

And then I rum pounded with Dumbfoundead

Had some grain alcohol with Boss

Then have a pour and sip with Lyraflip

Some shit with a gold emblem with Rogue-Venom

And then three shooters with Eve Super

Kept it dry though with Psycho

Then I had a whole bottle of Jack to my goddamn self

[Hook]