Roebuck

[Intro: Video Dave]

Hey, one two, you still don't know me though

Hey, hey

[Verse 1: Video Dave]

Every page I pick a picture as my preference, but just for reference

I like 'em all, number one through number twenty-seven

One question, who directed the photos and chose the layout?

How many accountants calculate the payout?

How many?

I need a scientific calculator

I need a film camera with an adjustable aperature

I want a three-piece stereo with a fivе-disc carousel

That's sweeter than an apple dippеd in peanuts and caramel

One time I bought a bow and arrow

Before I figured out that Michael Jackson was the scarecrow

My sisters both used to have braids and hair bows

The crib ain't never have no air flow

We never had a day of central AC

We always had a plate of rice and beans, I ate meat

My mother lives in the same house we've been in since I was a baby

I guess besides that year in Haiti

[Hook]

Have you seen the catalogue?

It got so many things, I wish I had 'em all

And I would not feel sad at all

If I could buy everything in the catalogue

[Verse 2: Still Rift]

Yo, no returns, no exchanges

Finger through the pages, no papercuts

Self address stamped got me amped while the selection got me

Waiting for the shipping times with less than prime handling

Oversized dimensions, pay the extra for the weight and balance

Standing on a porch light and the torch up for the postman twice rung

At once too ho gung for the white van

Every card scam ran through the works scan led up to this

Every penny saved was a wish made for the brokest kids

Paid my dues and paid a price on page twenty-three column B

Double tape auto reverse and volume rotary, dial tone

Don't bother calling me 'cause I ain't answering

When cords ain't long enough to reach while signing for my packages

Check the box for damage 'cause I need that mint condition in

Soon enough the whole damn block is listenin'

Until the next edition's in, I'm plotting my picks, planning my purchases

Cop the whole damn catalogue of merch

It's ill and worth the bill

[Open Mike Eagle]

I thought I had it all, I thought I had it all

One two, one two, a one two

[Verse 3: Open Mike Eagle]

Cellular beeper phone receiver

I'll tell you a secret, don't repeat it

I need it, I didn't know I need it

It looks like a pump and feels like a sneaker

This crook smells like a skunk and steals like a tweaker

We kiss a little longer, Big Red under the bleachers

Got it made, got it made, like I was hot for the teacher

It's a sound blaster car with the Altec Lansing speaker

I like David Lee Roth and not the other guy

It's '95 South, so I can learn to do the butterfly

It's Triple F.A.T. Goose stocked even in the summer time

My sweatshirt counting sheep with both words underlined

Yeah, and Mrs. Fields to the cookie stop

As quick as Mr. Owl licked the center of a Tootsie Pop

He's top floor

Hold on to the railing, watch for escalators zoom like its mode's set for scaling with adjustable contrast and sharpness

I'm singing like a partridge

Re-running the sale on shag carpet, hey

It's a sliding scale for financial hardships, it's odd shit

You want something broad, then go to Target