Coyote

You pointed out the fence

It was leaning towards the neighbor's house

The waterlogged firewood from the last few winters

Had become one with the fence

The mold holding it all together, the weight of the wood

The wind blowing in its direction

The rain pouring down the hill was too much for the fence

A few years earlier, I had an old tree chopped down

That was leaning towards the house

To protect the roof and for firewood

And now I've got twenty yards of fence to rebuild

I started bringing the heavy, wet logs into the back area

Into what I referred to as the Dungeon Area, two or so at a time

The doctor said I need more exercise

I said, "What kind of exercise?"

She said, "It doesn't matter, any kind"

I figure I'd have to get some of it out of the way

To help whoever I'd hire to repair the fence

I was breakin' out with sweat

When a neighbor appeared out of nowhere

And said, "How's it goin', neighbor?"

Why did he have to build a house on that empty lot

With tall oaks and pines and sequoias there?

Year after year, the grass would grow so tall and get so dry

That the property was a borderline fire hazard

I called a real estate agent and offered to buy that plot of land

But the owner never accepted my offer

I want to maintain my privacy, the house was so enchanting

Set back in all the trees

I'd bought the house for the curb appeal and seclusion

The signs on the street that said, "Deer Crossing"

Then I went out there one day

And the trees in the lot were chopped down

Then I went out there another day and the foundation was built

And now there's a house next door

And a neighbor guy I never met

Until just now when he said, "Hey, how are you doing?"

I said, "I'm okay, thanks"

And then turned my back on him and walked into the Dungeon

I dropped the logs I was holding on the cement floor

And closed the door behind me

I came back into the house through the Dungeon

From another door into the kitchen

And said, "This is not how I wanted to spend my fucking day"

Drenched with sweat, I got an iced tea from the fridge

And walked up to the highest point of my yard

And sat in the sun next to my hot tub

To remind myself why I bought the home in the first place

I looked off at the pines off in the foothills and called my friend

She told me about a strange Chinese restaurant

In North Canton, Ohio

A five-year-old girl was discovered in a freezer

Murdered by her mother

Her mom got 22 years

The father of the child got a life sentence for influencing

And manipulating the mother

Into being the abusive mother she'd become

My friend also said a dead body was discovered

On 8th Street in Massillon, not far from my father's home

She said the police got a tip

Found the body buried six feet deep (Buried six feet deep)

And they also discovered three neglected kids in that house

All of them under three years old (Under three years old)

Unaccompanied by adults and a neglected dog

In the basement (In the basement)

I came back in the house and did what I came here to do

Dove into my 2017 expenses

You were watchin' news upstairs

(You were watchin' the news upstairs)

A coyote was walking around

With a jar on his head, suffocating (With a jar on his head)

Someone had some footage of him

Roamin' around (Roamin' around)

The newscaster said (The newscaster said)

"Keep a lookout for him"

But they estimated he had 48 hours to live (48 hours to live)

I can't take too much of the news anymore

The political things are toxic enough

Then there's news of dead children, coyotes suffocating

And neglected dogs without food or water in basements

So we switched channels

There was a band on TV, I'd never seen them before

To my recollection, there were 12 people on stage

Pushing buttons in stationary positions

The singer sounded like an even simpler Simple Minds

If that's possible

But I could pretty much watch anybody perform, to be honest

One of my favorite performers is Jimmy Swaggart

I could watch him sing gospels all day

But anyhow, after Psalm 4, the silver staff band

He said, "Please change this, I can't take it anymore

This sounds like Tears for Fears"

I thought about textin' a friend

About how depressed I was by this band

By I didn't feel like the back-and-forth

That could potentially happen

At 51, you got to call your shots

On how your prioritize your time and your back-and-forths

Then I spent the day working, doing more things for my house

The never=ending fix-up that my mom said I'll be working on

Until the day that I die

The Money Pit, is the chimney guy calling?

The first guy to ever enter my home to do repair on my house

Is always somethin', always

At 10 P.M., you said you smelled a skunk ("I smell a skunk")

And you were right, the odor got more intense

I took a piss outside to see if I could smell the skunk and I didn't

While I was takin' a piss, I looked up at the moon

And my god it was beautiful (I looked up at the moon)

And it smelled like pine (Smelled like pine)

All my headaches went away

For just that moment in time (Moment in time)

I came back and I told you

I couldn't smell the skunk outside ("I can't smell the skunk outside")

But how powerful the smell was

When I came back in through the dining room

I walked up into the master bedroom

And the smell was even worse up there

You'd been on the internet, researching

And decided it was not a skunk

But a gas leak into the house that was going to explode

You said, "Put your jacket on fast and take a few things

And don't do anything to cause any sparks"

I said, "I have nothing on me

That would cause anything to make sparks"

You said it again, you said, "Don't do anything to make sparks"

I said, "I don't smoke cigarettes, I don't have matches

Or anything at all to cause anything to make any fucking sparks"

You said, "Well, if you do anything to make any kind of friction

It could cause sparks"

And at that point, I kept my mouth shut

I followed you along down the stairs

I said, "Whatever you need from me, whatever you need

Just let me know what you need"

We took the battery powered lantern from the porch

And I walked around the house and proved to you

There are no gas lines comin' into my home

I know this home like the back of my hand

You finally calmed down

And I was upset that we had missed Saturday Night Live

We came back in, and you told me

To look around that big, old, spooky house for the skunk

It was 1:30 in the mornin'

I said, "What the fuck am I gonna do if I find a skunk?

I'm not a skunk catcher

You want me to go down into the basement

And see if there's a skunk down there, that's where you think he is?

Sorry, but I wouldn't even know what to do if I cornered a skunk"

I said to you, "Look, here's the deal, we're leavin' tomorrow

And who knows how long it's gonna be until we're back here?

The skunk was a welcome guest in my home

This is my home and I got taxes to work on

I don't want to talk about the skunk anymore"

You said, "Calm down, Mark"

That you'd been researching more and that skunks were foragers

And I said, "What does 'forager' mean?"

You said, "That means they don't stay in one spot long"

And I said, "Well, there you go

He'll be gone within the next few days

Problem solved, the skunk problem is resolved"

We were exhausted

We considered leaving but it was late out there

We went to bed with the smell of skunk in the air

I was up until three o'clock in the mornin'

Reading A Confederacy of Dunces

Tired of all the bickering we'd been through

We tend to have this bickering way about us

On these fast "Quick, let's go check on the house" visits

I woke up at six o'clock in the morning

My heart was racing, I couldn't fall back asleep

So I woke you up, we walked into town

I got a bagel, you got an iced coffee and I got an iced tea

We came back and I did the usual routines

Locked up the house, shut off the water

Left money for the maid, turned on the alarm system

And set the thermostat

And I took photos of the early-blooming daffodils

And sent them to my friend

I sat at the top of the hill again, takin' in the sun again

Trying to remember

Why I ever bought this house in the first place again

A hummingbird was buzzing around me by the bamboo

Smoke was coming out of the chimneys

I don't understand myself

I spend the first 18 years of my life

Trying to get out of a three-bedroom house

With a yard full of sticks and squirrels

Then, way later in life, I ended up buying a three-bedroom house

With a yard full of sticks and squirrels

You were in the kitchen, dehydratin' vegetables

With the dehydrator your father gave you

I walked back down the hill, my back hurting

Into the living room door

You said, "I'm done dehydrating vegetables

I'm packed and ready to go"

There was still the faint smell of skunk lingering in the house

It was Super Bowl Sunday

And the traffic goin' back to San Francisco was hell

You dropped me off at my place

And I've known you long enough to know

That look on your face

That says, "I don't want to see you for a couple of days"

So I left you alone, cleaned my apartment, made my bed

Opened some windows, cleaned my hardwood floors

And I dumped the bag of 2017 paperwork on the living room floor

You sent me a text, "Yay, they rescued the coyote

And got the jar off his head, he survived"