Mr. Fred's Disco

Put on your platform soles and paint your nails white

We got to look our best at mr. fred's tonight

We learned our dance moves, god, I hope we get them right

Don't smile, your crown shows up in ultra-violet light

Just down the alleyway behind the goods yard wall

Inside what used to be the local mission hall

Patrolled by heavies in their aquascutum suits

No jeans, no overalls, no steel toecapped boots

Got a london dj booked

And someone said he looks like les mckeown, can you see?

When he gets up on thе stage

I know he's gonna play some wickеd tunes just for me

Later on when he's done his tracks

He'll pull some grockle cow and take her back to his b & b

See the guys in their diamond tops and their oxford bags

Take care in the lightshow

'cos the strobes can drive you mad

If you're epileptic you'll be sure to have a fit

So don't forget to ask them

Where they keep the first aid kit

Thank goodness we're both healthy

We're here to have ourselves

A real good time, come on let's dance

Hoik up your satin bell sleeves

We're gonna leave our troubles far behind in the past

You noticed those two old guys?

Well, they've been eyeing us since we arrived...not a chance

It's nearly fifty years since we were standing here

The image starts to wave and the music goes all weird

The room is empty and the mould is sickly blue

This place is coming down in another week or two

Over there where the speakers stood

There's just a pile of wood and broken glass, mind your toes

It's hard to get your bearings

But that banquette is where I parked my arse long ago

And flat out on the dance floor

Old mr. fred won't boogie any more, oh no no

It's gone, mr. fred's, it's gone, mr. fred's, it's gone