Lovely Money (extended)

[Verse 1]

They come to see the dungeons here

The tourists flock from far and near

They do the tower and try the beer

[Verse 2]

The picking pockets cost your life

And every jury has a price

They bring the kids and show the wife

[Chorus]

It makes them proud to be around

And take their summer piccies

To drink at night in Soho clubs

And end up feeling sickie

And we're all making money

Lovely money

[Verse 3]

Rubber necks with cash to burn

Export criminals return

They keep on coming, never learn

[Chorus]

They fill their diaries page by page

And make it sound so thrilling

They're hunting for the real thing

They're flushed and they are willing

And we're all making money

Lovely money

[Verse 4]

The victors of the opium wars

Now take their trips and open doors

They stand upon the actual floors

(Actual floors, actual floors)

[Chorus]

It makes them proud to be around

And take their summer piccies

To drink at night in Soho clubs

And end up feeling sickie

[Bridge]

Whoa, you've gone for it and you've paid

History, we've got it made

The daughters they get with [?]

[Skit / Bridge]

Through this iron Traitors' Gate the more popular criminals

Those darlings of the crowd, were taken smiling into the tower

(More money, more money)

Rumour has it that the bloodstains of Charles I's decapitation

Were never actually washed from the stones

(More money, more money)

[Verse 5]

Now off you go, away you fly

We've had your money now goodbye

We fleeced you good, we bled you dry

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

[Skit / Verse 1]

(They come to see the dungeons here) These, the Crown Jewels, a

(The tourists flock from far and near) Glittering mounds of bijoux, broches, dangles and doo-dahs

An astonishing symbol of our serenity, majesty, pomp and religion

Piss off, kid! - Piss off!

[Skit / Verse 2]

(The picking pockets cost your life) Big wow, right?

(They bring the kids and show the wife) Of our good-hearted way of waltzing men, and er-

Cacheing into a peaceful country, clobbering the chiefs and saying

That's it, this is mine!

[Skit / Bridge]

(Lovely money) Our worth, not place, m'lady

Were stolen, rather, by one Captain Blood who walks a bloody tire...

(Lovely money) What are you doing to that stuffed ostrich, you shit?

...Underneath his arm

[Skit]

Here, sir, beefeaters will accept bacon burgers

And here, the original armour worn by Henry has now been coated in Teflon

So those greasy Argentinians - who don't have freckles

Because they slide off their faces - can't get their hands on it

How old are the mummified remains?

Well, er- Fourteen to fifteen...

They sawed his leg off and counted the rings, you jerk!

(Big wow!)

[Hook]

Pomp! And circumcision

Pomp! And majesty

Pomp! Me up again

Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!

[Skit]

These, the Crown Jewels, a

Glittering mound of bijoux, broches, dangles and doo-dahs

An astonishing symbol of our serenity

Majesty, pomp and religion - Piss off, kid!

Piss off! - Big wow, right?

[Skit]

Of our good-hearted way of waltzing men and er-

Cacheing into a peaceful country

Clobbering the chiefs and saying, "That's it, this is mine!"

Our worth, not place, m'lady, were stolen, rather

By one Captain Blood who walks a bloody tire...

What are you doing to that stuffed ostrich, you shit?

...underneath his arm

[Skit]

Here, sir, beefeaters will accept bacon burgers

And here, the original armour worn by Henry, has now been coated in Teflon

So those greasy Argentinians - who don't have freckles

Because they slide off their faces - can't get their hands on it

How old are the mummified remains?

Well er- Fourteen to fifteen-

They sawed his leg off and counted the rings, you jerk!

[Outro]

Big wow!

Pomp! And circumcision

Pomp! And majesty

Pomp! Me up again

Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!