Ducks on the Wall

STAR:

Norman's office got on my nerves to-day

WIFE:

What do you mean? You are Norman!

STAR:

(Shouts) I am a star!

WIFE:

You're not a star Norman. You're just a plain ordinary little bloke and even if you walked down the street in a silver suit people still wouldn't recognise you. You're dull, ordinary and uninteresting! You're a drag!

STAR:

I hate this house and I hate you, but more than anything else I hate those ducks!

WIFE:

Don't you touch those ducks Norman! They were a present from my mother. Look, Norman, I've had enough of you and your ridiculous fantasies. First of all you wanted to be a painter, then you wanted to be an astronaut, then a footballer and now you're playing at being a rock singer. If you touch those ducks I'm leaving!

My lady's got the most deplorable taste

But her biggest mistake

Is hanging over the fireplace

She's got ducks, ducks on the wall

Ducks, ducks, hanging on the wall

My lady's got a sort of strange fascination

An obsessive fixation

For cheap decorations

She's got ducks, ducks on the wall

Ducks, ducks, hanging on the wall

Wo-wo-wo I love her so but if she don't move the ducks

I think my mind is gonna go

Ducks ducks ducks on the wall

Ducks ducks, hanging on the wall

I leave the office and I want to relax

Don't want to stare at a wall

And look at a duck that can't quack

I love you baby but I can't fall

For those ducks on the wall

I start to snuggle up and squeeze her so tight

Then out of the corner of my eye

I see those ducks in flight

I love you baby but I can't ball

When I see those ducks on the wall

Wo-wo-wo I can sit through your gossip and your soap opera shows

But those ducks have got to go

I love you baby but I can't ball

When I see those ducks on the wall

And when I went to a cocktail party

With the bores next door

What was the first thing that I saw?

Ducks, ducks, ducks on the wall

Ducks, ducks hanging on the wall

My baby's got the most deplorable taste

But her biggest mistake

Is hanging over the fireplace

She's got ducks, ducks on the wall

Ducks, ducks hanging on the wall

I'll sit and look at all the soap operas with her

I'll play all the panel games and watch all the quiz shows

But those ducks they've got to go

Those ducks are getting up my nose

If those ducks can fly, well so can I

And if those ducks have got to stay

Then I'm going to fly away

I love you baby but I can't ball

When I see those ducks on the wall

Ducks, ducks, ducks on the wall

Ducks, ducks, ducks on the wall

Oh those ducks on the wall are beginning to move

They're talking to me

I've got to get out

I've got to get away from those ducks