Ducks on the Wall

STAR: Norman's office got on my nerves to-day WIFE: What do you mean? You are Norman! STAR: (Shouts) I am a star! WIFE: You're not a star Norman. You're just a plain ordinary little bloke and even if you walked down the street in a silver suit people still wouldn't recognise you. You're dull, ordinary and uninteresting! You're a drag! STAR: I hate this house and I hate you, but more than anything else I hate those ducks! WIFE: Don't you touch those ducks Norman! They were a present from my mother. Look, Norman, I've had enough of you and your ridiculous fantasies. First of all you wanted to be a painter, then you wanted to be an astronaut, then a footballer and now you're playing at being a rock singer. If you touch those ducks I'm leaving! My lady's got the most deplorable taste But her biggest mistake Is hanging over the fireplace She's got ducks, ducks on the wall Ducks, ducks, hanging on the wall My lady's got a sort of strange fascination An obsessive fixation For cheap decorations She's got ducks, ducks on the wall Ducks, ducks, hanging on the wall Wo-wo-wo I love her so but if she don't move the ducks I think my mind is gonna go Ducks ducks ducks on the wall Ducks ducks, hanging on the wall I leave the office and I want to relax Don't want to stare at a wall And look at a duck that can't quack I love you baby but I can't fall For those ducks on the wall I start to snuggle up and squeeze her so tight Then out of the corner of my eye I see those ducks in flight I love you baby but I can't ball When I see those ducks on the wall Wo-wo-wo I can sit through your gossip and your soap opera shows But those ducks have got to go I love you baby but I can't ball When I see those ducks on the wall And when I went to a cocktail party With the bores next door What was the first thing that I saw? Ducks, ducks, ducks on the wall Ducks, ducks hanging on the wall My baby's got the most deplorable taste But her biggest mistake Is hanging over the fireplace She's got ducks, ducks on the wall Ducks, ducks hanging on the wall I'll sit and look at all the soap operas with her I'll play all the panel games and watch all the quiz shows But those ducks they've got to go Those ducks are getting up my nose If those ducks can fly, well so can I And if those ducks have got to stay Then I'm going to fly away I love you baby but I can't ball When I see those ducks on the wall Ducks, ducks, ducks on the wall Ducks, ducks, ducks on the wall Oh those ducks on the wall are beginning to move They're talking to me I've got to get out I've got to get away from those ducks