I'm Not Scared

I'm not scared of you this time
And when you pick up the phone, I'll stay on the line
And I'll do more than breathe this time
And I'll let you in, at least I'm gonna try

And it felt so strange when I said it out loud
That I look for redemption in everyone else
But funny thing is that I always hated church
Spend so much time looking that I forgot to search

And to be a woman is to be in pain
And my body reminds me almost every day
That I was made for another, but I don't wanna know that
'Cause it happened once and I always look back

In my sentience, I wear your judgement like a crown
Couldn't look you in your eyes, so I look to the ground
Then I took the drugs again last night
But pills have never brought me any kind of light

My eyes are heavy, all I wanna do is sleep
But I need to make money and I need to eat
And loving never made anybody I know happy
And loving only seems to make you bruise and to bleed

And to be a woman is to be in pain
And my body reminds me almost every day
That I was made for another, but I don't wanna know that
'Cause it happened once and I always look back