V for Virgin

This is for those among us who got enough play though 12th grade to carry in an upside down teaspoon

For every kid who could have counted their high school hookups on two hands tied behind their back

For every kid the collective romantic prowess of Steve Urkel, Al Gore, Richard Simmons, Bill Gates and Screech from Saved by the Bell

This is the anthem for those among us who got none in our formative years

And this poem is for every high school Virgin who wouldn't have had it any other way

You don't know the possibilities of a weekend until you'v cracked a six pack of Juice Squeeze with your boys, bumped B.I.G's Big Poppa and watched an entire Star Trek: The next generation marathon

For me, Virgin was working

And I can see why Trekkies greet each other by throwing up the letter V

Live long and prosper

It's time to reclaim the high school virgin as sexy

I am talking damn that's some sexy peach fuzz sexy

Picked last for kickball sexy

He's so sexy his homework, the laundry and the dishes do themselves around him sexy

I am talking cowlick, house arrest, sweatervest sexy

bedrest, Led Zep air guitar sexy

Pen Pal, study group, buddy system, teddy bear hand-me-downs sweatpants Corduroy sexy

And yes, I am also talking check out the curves on that parabola sexy

But mostly this is regular kid sexy

Brown paper bag, unpopular for the right reasons, what a nice guy sexy

Spends Fridays doing nothing with his friends sexy

Screw your football team sexy

I am talking Big Fat V on my lettermans jacket

Cause I am varsity sexy

So hold your head high in the struggle have pride in the struggle

I can't rock your world, but damn can I cuddle

Girl I wanna lay you down by the fire with a bowl of popcorn and watch Fresh Prince reruns

This is for every kid who couldn't get it, didn't want to get it, or had it and gave it back

So throw your Vs in the ayer if you're a true player

And wave em side to side like you just don't cayer

And for everyone here who was ever a virgin

And for everyone here who's ever loved themself for who they are

Keep your arm towards the sky

And understand that at least one dorky white boy from the 415 knows it's the sexiest arm he's seen in his entire sexy life