I’m skiing, but it’s weird, because I’ve never been skiing.
What did you last dream about?
I had a bag full of small dogs, and I was driving them somewhere.
If you could learn one skill instantly, without needing to practice, what would you pick?
The violin.
What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten?
Half a bar of soap.
Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?
I seem to recall having a bit of a fascination with Liz Tyler in Lord of the Rings, back when I was a wee lad.
What's your favourite conspiracy theory, even if you don't believe it?
That Paul McCartney has died about four times.
What strength Nando's sauce do you order?
I couldn’t tell you.
What was the first record you bought?
“Monster” by The Automatic.
Tell us a boring fact about yourself?
I’m an arachnophobe.
If you could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?
A cupboard in the Kremlin.
"I had a bag full of small dogs..."
Backflips.
What do you always have in your fridge?
Butter.
Have you ever fallen for a scam?
I bought someone an Amazon gift card for gig tickets when I first moved to London. Never got the tickets.
What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever done to impress someone?
Eaten half a bar of soap.
What is your most treasured possession?
My Olivetti Lettera 32.
Who was your favourite musician or band when you were 14?
Nirvana.
If you had to live as an animal for one year, which animal would you pick?
A goat.
What’s the furthest you’ve travelled to attend someone else’s gig?
To London when I was still living in Yorkshire.
Are any of your lyrics secretly rude?
Probably.
Have you ever sold your own CD or merch on eBay?
No.
"I got dragged out of a bar for kicking over a “caution wet floor” sign"
It depends how you define seeing.
Which member of your band would make the best substitute teacher, and for what subject?
Will King would be a great DT teacher.
If you could be best friends with a celebrity you do not know, who would you choose?
Any of ABBA.
Have you ever been thrown out of somewhere?
Yes, a few times. The most memorable was when I got dragged out of a bar by my neck for kicking over a “caution wet floor” sign.
What’s your favourite type of weather?
Warm.
How punk are you out of ten?
Answering a question like this would immediately obliterate any stated number.
If you could have a superpower of your choosing, what would it be?
The king of all animals.
What was the last thing you broke?
I actually cannot remember, which is a sure sign of positive ageing.
What’s the most memorable prank you’ve ever pulled or had pulled on you?
I once brought a live swan into the rehearsal room.
You're picking a 5-item breakfast. What's in it?
Eggs, bacon, sausages, hash brown, a singular bean.
If you won the lottery, what would you spend the cash on?
Obscure clobber.
Have you ever won anything?
Coupla bets.
What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?
Misspelling the word embarraraassing.
Are you good in a crisis?
It depends on the nature of the crisis.
Have you ever lied in an interview?
Yes.
Taken from the February 2026 issue of Dork. DEADLETTER's album 'Existence Is Bliss' is out 27th February.
