Hey Ladies

Hey ladies in the place, I'm callin' out to ya There never was a city kid truer and bluer There's more to me than you'll ever know And I've got more hits than Sadaharu Oh Tom Thumb, Tom Cushman or Tom Foolery I date women on T.V. with the help of Chuck Woolery Words are flowing out just like the Grand Canyon And I'm always out looking for a female companion I threw the lasso around the tallest one and dragged her to the crib I took off her moccasins and put on my bib Wheelin' and dealin' I make a little bit of stealing I'll bring her back to the place and your dress I'm peeling Your body's on time and your mind is appealing Staring at the cracks up there up on the ceiling Such and such'll be the bass that I'm throwing I'm talking to the girl telling her I'm all-knowing She's talking to the kid (who?) to the kid, to the kid I'm telling her every lie that you know that I never did Hey ladies, get funky All the ladies in the house The ladies, the ladies Well, me in the corner with a good looking daughter I dropped my drawers, said welcome back Kotter We was cutting up the rug, she started cutting up the carpet In my apartment, I begged her, please stop it The gift of gab is the gift that I have And that girl ain't nothing but a crab Educated no, stupid yep And when I say stupid, I mean stupid fresh I'm not James at fifteen or Chachi in charge I'm Adam and I'm adamant about living large With the white sassoons and the looks that kill Makin' love in the back of my Coupe De Ville I met a little cutie she was all hopped up on zootie I liked the little cutie but I kicked her in the bootie 'Cause I don't kinda go for that messin' around You be listening to my records' a number one sound Just step to the rhythm, step, step to the ride I've got an open mind so why don't you all get inside? Tune in, turn on to my tune that's live Ladies flock like bees to a hive Hey ladies, get funky Hey, hey, hey, hey ladies (girls, girls) Hey, hey, hey, hey, ladies One more time, ain't it funky now? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ladies (Ain't it funky now?) well, you know that She got a gold tooth you know she's hardcore She'll show you a good time then she'll show you the door Break up with your girl it ended in tears Vincent Van Gogh go and mail that ear Call her in the middle of the night when I'm drinking The phone booth on the corner is damp and it's stinking Said come on over it was me that she missed I threw that trash can through her window 'cause you know I got dissed Your old lady left you and you went insane You blew yourself up in the back of the six train Take my advice at any price a gorilla like your mother is mighty weak Sucking down pints until I didn't know Woke up in the morning with a one-ton ho 'Cause I announce I like girls that bounce With the weight that pays about a pound per ounce Girls with curls and big long locks And beatnik chicks just wearing their smocks Walking high and mighty like she's number one (She thinks she's the passionate one) Hey ladies, get funky Dance Good god Baby, baby, baby, baby Ain't it funky brother? Hey, hey, hey, hey ladies Hey ladies