The Donkey

Here’s what happened when my friends and I got fired from the Haunted waterpark Joe and Lindsey dressed up like zombies “Get the fuck out” That’s what he sounded like back in those days Cuz he did drugs The owner is chasing us now Cuz we stole things We get out of there by running fast Back at their place we took drugs and decided to make a Stop-motion animation film It was about this doll And she’s having sex with this other doll But it starts to not go so well So she’s cutting hеrself with razor blades And we’rе like “We need blood for this” So we’re pricking ourselves with needles Getting only little droplets But it’s not nearly enough Joe gets up and disappears into the corner of the basement Lindsey and I are quietly working on our shots The man comes back to the center of the room and he says “I’ve got the blood” Lindsey runs upstairs immediately now Screaming, crying The man has sawed his arm to the bone And he is bleeding all over the place So the next day I’m going to see my friend Greg in Williamsport Who killed himself shortly after this, and I go out to my car And I notice my trunk has a dent in it. And I’m like “Hm, that’s Weird. That wasn’t here yesterday.” Like, broken into. So I open My trunk and the bloody dolls are in the trunk of the car Because I guess Joe had walked over there in the night with his Fucked up arm and bled all over these dolls and broke into my Car and left the dolls in the trunk. So I’m driving up to Williamsport and this man calls me on the phone and he’s like “So Lindsey and I broke up” and I’m like “Uhh obviously” which Was also weird because they were both crazy and they were Together for I don’t know, 12 years, like since they were kids And he’s like “And I told her that I’m in love with you” and I’m Like “Joe, I’m not doing this right now” and he’s like “So I got Kicked out of the house” and I’m like “OK, well I’m driving Somewhere and I can’t be on the phone” and he’s like “Well, I Decided that I would invite you to live in my grandfather’s shed In Nazareth” and I’m like “Joe, are you out of your fucking Mind? I’m not gonna live in a shed in your grandfather’s yard in Nazareth” and then he’s like “Well if you don’t wanna do that We can live under this bridge in Newport.”