Both Ways

You can't be the bully

Then conveniently claim you're oppressed

Can't blow people's countries apart

And demand that they clean up the mess

Can't be a bank baron oligarch

Then plead, "brother, spare me a dime?"

You can't be a blood-addict vampire

And insist the real monster's outside

[Chorus]

Unless, of course, you can

Because that's me, yeah that's me

I want it both ways in the land of the free

You can't preach "all lives are equal...

Unless they're immigrant, women, or black."

You can't weaponize Jesus

And be shocked when the heathens shoot back

'Cause Christ was a radical

But not tin the direction you point him

If you dragged him to a megachurch

It's doubtful he'd see much worth anointing

[Chorus]

Unless, of course, he's changed

More like me; yeah, like me

We have it both ways in the land of the free

Our destiny, made manifest:

Oblivion, it's endless

Imagine our surprise when

We actually had to pick up the check!

[Chorus]

Yeah, that's me

You and me

We'll get it both ways in the land of the free