Dear Yvette

[Verse 1] Yo Yvette, there's a lot of rumors goin' around They're so bad, baby, you might have to skip town See, something's smellin' fishy and they say it's you All I know is that you made it with the whole damn crew They say you're a man-eater during the full moon Mascot of the senior boys' locker room They said Yvette walked in, there wasn't too much rap Her reputation got bigger and so did her gap 'Cause, girl, your mama shoulda taught you better I'ma sit down and write you a long letter [Chorus] Dear Yvette Dear Yvette Dear Yvette Dear Yvette [Verse 2] I'm glad you ain't my sister, then again, if you was I'd have to treat you like you was my distant cuz I'm not a news reporter, I don't mean to assume What should I think? I seen you comin' out the men's bathroom You wasn't in there alone, wasn't usin' the phone The door was locked for twenty minutes, all I heard was moans [Chorus] Dear Yvette Dear Yvette Dear Yvette Dear Yvette [Verse 3] I don't really know if the story is so I can either ask Curly or Larry or Moe Or Earl, Shabazz, Lou, Mookie, or Joe Like Santa Claus said, you're a ho-ho-ho In every disco, you say hello Like you're a little angel, but we all know Since you was eleven, you been actin' this way You always got in bed when you wanted to play You're a freak, you think you're Lady Godiva Some freaks are live, but Yvette, you're liver [Chorus] Dear Yvette Dear Yvette Dear Yvette Dear Yvette [Verse 4] You're a backseat queen, an elevator pro A high-powered body makes your Levi's grow See, the stories I've heard, they could amaze I heard she did it on a motorcycle back in the day So calm down, freak, get a GED That's a general education on decency One day, you'll see and agree with me Unless you're gonna be a freak until you're ninety-three For you, there's no fee, everything is free This is from me to you, not you to me Every night is your night, your leather pants are tight You try to shake your butt with all your might I don't really wanna diss nobody You might think I had a little too much Bacardi But that's not the problem, the problem's Yvette How bad can a girl's reputation get? See, she's the kinda girl all the homeboys met If you're desperate, ask Yvette, 'cause she'll say "Bet" [Chorus] Dear Yvette Dear Yvette Dear Yvette Dear Yvette [Verse 5] B-boys are hard on the Boulevard The reverend at the church said you was barred Homeboys on the block love you a lot You're a real famous freak whether you like it or not So before you start walkin' and your beak starts squawkin' Let me explain to you who is talkin' I'm LL Cool J from around the way You boogie down to my records almost every day Go a hundred miles an hour when you're standin' still You're faster than my Caddy when it's goin' downhill Won't forget that day in the YMCA The guy at the desk said it was okay For you to come inside 'cause he knew you'd stay Greg G. and Garfield yelled "Hooray" [Chorus] Dear Yvette Dear Yvette Dear Yvette Dear Yvette Dear Yvette Dear Yvette Dear Yvette Dear Yvette