[Verse 1]
Yo Yvette, there's a lot of rumors goin' around
They're so bad, baby, you might have to skip town
See, something's smellin' fishy and they say it's you
All I know is that you made it with the whole damn crew
They say you're a man-eater during the full moon
Mascot of the senior boys' locker room
They said Yvette walked in, there wasn't too much rap
Her reputation got bigger and so did her gap
'Cause, girl, your mama shoulda taught you better
I'ma sit down and write you a long letter
[Chorus]
Dear Yvette
Dear Yvette
Dear Yvette
Dear Yvette
[Verse 2]
I'm glad you ain't my sister, then again, if you was
I'd have to treat you like you was my distant cuz
I'm not a news reporter, I don't mean to assume
What should I think? I seen you comin' out the men's bathroom
You wasn't in there alone, wasn't usin' the phone
The door was locked for twenty minutes, all I heard was moans
[Chorus]
Dear Yvette
Dear Yvette
Dear Yvette
Dear Yvette
[Verse 3]
I don't really know if the story is so
I can either ask Curly or Larry or Moe
Or Earl, Shabazz, Lou, Mookie, or Joe
Like Santa Claus said, you're a ho-ho-ho
In every disco, you say hello
Like you're a little angel, but we all know
Since you was eleven, you been actin' this way
You always got in bed when you wanted to play
You're a freak, you think you're Lady Godiva
Some freaks are live, but Yvette, you're liver
[Chorus]
Dear Yvette
Dear Yvette
Dear Yvette
Dear Yvette
[Verse 4]
You're a backseat queen, an elevator pro
A high-powered body makes your Levi's grow
See, the stories I've heard, they could amaze
I heard she did it on a motorcycle back in the day
So calm down, freak, get a GED
That's a general education on decency
One day, you'll see and agree with me
Unless you're gonna be a freak until you're ninety-three
For you, there's no fee, everything is free
This is from me to you, not you to me
Every night is your night, your leather pants are tight
You try to shake your butt with all your might
I don't really wanna diss nobody
You might think I had a little too much Bacardi
But that's not the problem, the problem's Yvette
How bad can a girl's reputation get?
See, she's the kinda girl all the homeboys met
If you're desperate, ask Yvette, 'cause she'll say "Bet"
[Chorus]
Dear Yvette
Dear Yvette
Dear Yvette
Dear Yvette
[Verse 5]
B-boys are hard on the Boulevard
The reverend at the church said you was barred
Homeboys on the block love you a lot
You're a real famous freak whether you like it or not
So before you start walkin' and your beak starts squawkin'
Let me explain to you who is talkin'
I'm LL Cool J from around the way
You boogie down to my records almost every day
Go a hundred miles an hour when you're standin' still
You're faster than my Caddy when it's goin' downhill
Won't forget that day in the YMCA
The guy at the desk said it was okay
For you to come inside 'cause he knew you'd stay
Greg G. and Garfield yelled "Hooray"
[Chorus]
Dear Yvette
Dear Yvette
Dear Yvette
Dear Yvette
Dear Yvette
Dear Yvette
Dear Yvette
Dear Yvette
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