Cool Down Willard

Cool down, Willard (Cool down) You're just too hot for the farm I said, cool down, Willard (Cool down) You gotta throttle back on the charm Yeah, my wife and my grandma and my aunt May Go wild when you wave your toupee I said, cool down, Willard (Cool down) You're just too hot for the farm Well, I'm up every morning at the crack of dawn But my wife's already up and got the TV on Just sittin' there, starin' at the test pattern You can't budge her from that spot She's waitin' for that early morning Today Show With that sexy weatherman, her superhero Old debonair, devil-may-care Willard Scott "Oh, Willard, you're just the sweetest thing" "Now sit down, grandma, and put your teeth back in You're drooling all in your cream of wheat" "Oh, Willard" Now grandma just ain't been the same Since her last birthday when Willard mentioned her name Right there on coast-to-coast TV Why, we had to step up her medication And the wife don't cook nor clean the home She's talkin' all day on the telephone 'Bout what Willard said, what Willard wore Why, it's a serious situation Said, cool down, Willard (Cool down) You're just too hot for the farm Cool down, Willard (Cool down) You gotta throttle back on the charm Now there's just so much these women can take You're the hottest thing to ever hit Wild Lake I said, cool down, Willard (Cool down) You're just too hot for the farm "Oh, here I am, Willard" "Come and take me, you handsome hunk" "Now grandma, don't get yourself all riled up" "Come on, Willard" "Grandma, what have you got on?" Now grandma ain't been acting like she should Since she rode off to Frederick's of Hollywood She just puts on her little outfit And waits for Mister Excitement with the boutonnière The whole darn thing has just gone too far Why, they've even started talkin' 'bout gettin' a VCR So they can watch Willard 24 hours a day I tell you, it just ain't fair Cool down, Willard (Cool down) Why, this is worse than Elvis, or the Beatles Cool down, Willard (Cool down) Yeah, the way these women are just throwing themselves at this man What is it gonna take to get somebody to help me with the chores? Cool down, Willard (Cool down) I mean, I'm out here working my fingers to the bone Cool down, Willard (Cool down) Milking the cows, slopping the hogs Cool down, Willard (Cool down) Feedin' them chickens, I'm sick of this I tell you, Willard, I'm out here killing myself And these women are all piled up in the bed there watchin' you on TV Cool down, Willard (Cool down) Cavorting around and trampling with their affection I tell you, Willard Willard (Cool down)