Mama Sang Bass

When I was kid in my hometown People would come from miles around Just to get a job at the pharmaceutical factory Making strong medicines of all descriptions Now every time I get a new prescription It brings a dose of old memories back to me Now daddy was assigned to birth control pills Breathing that air that was hormone-filled And mama made bodybuilding steroids all day long And when Sundays came, they sang in the choir And even the angels had to admire Make the hair stand up on the back of your neck when they sang a song Mama sang bass, daddy sang tenor You wouldn't think she had it in her But her voice got deeper and deeper every week Daddy sang tenor, mama sang bass She had strength and he had grace It's kind of like they traded places, so to speak Well, the preacher said, "Folks, I recognize your talents But you see, this choir's out of balance And the bass sounds better when it's coming from the other side" Well, mama's patience never was the greatest And daddy wouldn't think of sitting with the ladies So the only thing to do was give their hormones a ride Now the factory was working on this DNA That programs molecules in such a way That anything wrong can sometimes be reversed So they made 'em up a shot, put it in their veins Waited all week 'til Sunday came To see if that injection was a blessing or a curse The media coverage was so intense It made the OJ trial seem like a nonevent The church was filled up to the brim Just to hear that opening hymn, then Mama sang bass, daddy sang tenor She got stronger, he got thinner That's what you get for trying too hard to please Daddy sang tenor, mama sang bass He makes dinner while she shaves her face Now what else do you want to know about the birds and the bees? You know I got a powerful urge to scratch and spit I love to watch baseball Baseball? Well, mama, you used to love to knit What happened to that? Knit? Let's go to the wrestling matches Wrestling? Let's arm wrestle Oh no Hey, you ain't got any red man on you, do you? Red man? I know, let's go cow tippin' Cow tippin'? Listen, ma, you just about wore ol' Bossy out now Quiet, you might wake her up Rock-a-bye, Bossy Lord, have mercy Run, Bossy, run