mental//prison

Split wrist Pull it back or call it quits Pain pushing addict Suffering in silence Medicated to block out the violence Short sighted with a chip on my shoulder I'm trying To push it down but soon reminded that the hurt just keeps on biting And wounds Break open from time to time - Maybe you’ve stitched your scars But the blood still pours from mine Stop the bleeding Give it a rest They said But I promise I'm begging for the end Survival of the fittest But why am I fighting To live in a mental prison Biding my time to stay alive Buying time till I die In a cycle of violence That carousels in my mind Keep twisting thе knife Your words never seem to catch up with your actions Pеople are a game to you You thrive off their reaction Distractions Obsessed with lust and attraction Control and attachment Don't learn from the past and You hate yourself I know but you hate to see me go Afraid you might end up alone But you reap what you sow Scary to think about if shit came to the surface If people knew the real you Would have it been worth it ? Stop the bleeding Give it a rest They said But I promise I’m begging for the end Survival of the fittest But why am I fighting To live in a mental prison Biding my time to stay alive Buying time till I die In a cycle of violence That carousels in my mind Keep twisting the knife (space between this as well) Salt to the wound Whenever I think about you It's been a year since I left A year of me trying to make it make sense Not sure what is worse These fucked up feelings or the fact that it still hurts What will I get you to stop? What will it take….. I've always bit the bullet To spare someone the pain While I'm gutted from the inside You held the fucking blade Near six years of my life Now it's all a waste All the times I trusted you When I should have walked away You'll always be my biggest mistake I've always bit the bullet Just to spare you the pain Still gutted from the fucking inside Reminded of you everyday Near six years of my life But I'll continue to save face Even though I know, I loved you You’ll always be my biggest mistake