mental//prison

Split wrist

Pull it back or call it quits

Pain pushing addict

Suffering in silence

Medicated to block out the violence

Short sighted with a chip on my shoulder I'm trying

To push it down but soon reminded that the hurt just keeps on biting

And wounds

Break open from time to time -

Maybe you’ve stitched your scars

But the blood still pours from mine

Stop the bleeding

Give it a rest

They said

But I promise

I'm begging for the end

Survival of the fittest

But why am I fighting

To live in a mental prison

Biding my time to stay alive

Buying time till I die

In a cycle of violence

That carousels in my mind

Keep twisting thе knife

Your words never seem to catch up with your actions

Pеople are a game to you

You thrive off their reaction

Distractions

Obsessed with lust and attraction

Control and attachment

Don't learn from the past and

You hate yourself I know but you hate to see me go

Afraid you might end up alone

But you reap what you sow

Scary to think about if shit came to the surface

If people knew the real you

Would have it been worth it ?

Stop the bleeding

Give it a rest

They said

But I promise

I’m begging for the end

Survival of the fittest

But why am I fighting

To live in a mental prison

Biding my time to stay alive

Buying time till I die

In a cycle of violence

That carousels in my mind

Keep twisting the knife (space between this as well)

Salt to the wound

Whenever I think about you

It's been a year since I left

A year of me trying to make it make sense

Not sure what is worse

These fucked up feelings or the fact that it still hurts

What will I get you to stop?

What will it take…..

I've always bit the bullet

To spare someone the pain

While I'm gutted from the inside

You held the fucking blade

Near six years of my life

Now it's all a waste

All the times I trusted you

When I should have walked away

You'll always be my biggest mistake

I've always bit the bullet

Just to spare you the pain

Still gutted from the fucking inside

Reminded of you everyday

Near six years of my life

But I'll continue to save face

Even though I know, I loved you

You’ll always be my biggest mistake