… and thanked Jesus and his cousin Jermaine – while also saying fans shouldn’t vote and Central Cee should have had it (correct).

RAYE, meanwhile, takes Best R&B, but hasn’t showed up cos she’s on a garden chair in somewhere that looks sunnier than London.

They’ve always been a band with a sense of drama and spectacle, so it’s no surprise the big stage would suit them so well. A forest, string section and even a tech running across the stage to keep the show on the road – there’s a reason they shifted a metric tonne of albums last year.

She’s not there, though. She’s recorded a message, where she’s repeated her calls for supporting artists to be able to make their art. Love ya, Chappell.

Announced before the ceremony, it’s more than deserved – she’s one of the acts to dominate the pop culture conversation over the past 12 months.

Outfit changes, a performance across five acts, full on spectacle, a staged fight, a corpse and an ascent to the heavens – JADE knows how to do pop star.

.. and Jack Whitehall seemed to tell off Djo for not sitting down. But JADE is on now, which is good.

She’s won Best Dance, and has taken to the stage with “three straight white men” – that’s George, A.G. Cook and the artist formerly known as Easyfun. A.G. has an especially lovely shirt on.

Charli is thanking some people – PC Music, Justice, Daft Punk, Honey Dijon, Robyn, Arca, M.I.A, Aphex Twin and the magnificent SOPHIE.

“Do the BRITs still matter?”, we asked. “Can the 2025 version of the UK’s biggest night in music punch through the noise?” 45 mins in… the jury is kinda out. Sabrina certainly put on a show that will get some attention, but otherwise it’s all a little ‘sure, okay’, and not exactly ‘woo, yay’.

You can read our full Agenda piece here.

Meanwhile, Myles Smith just got his BRITs Rising Star award from The Last Dinner Party. He’s using it to make a campaign speech on various industry ‘issues’ – which is actually quite good. Fair play.

He’s brought his whole band on stage, which is nice. His coat is also better than Serge’s.

AND IT GOES TO JADE.

It’s probably the fact that it’s a public vote that grabs it over Charli, but frankly, Jade deserves it. She’s been dropping major bops all year.

He’s performing with a pillow stuck to his head. Is this what ‘Bed Chem’ is?

She’s on for the sweep.

He’s dressed like a mix between a fly and a peacock.

Well, Good Morning Britain will have something to talk about on Monday morning…

… with your usual embarrassing skit. Featuring Dominic Littlewood and Richard Madeley? Obviously.

Let’s be honest – the BRITs without a dash of chaos is like a cup of tea without biscuits: technically possible but fundamentally wrong. Tonight’s ceremony at The O2 promises to maintain the awards show’s proud tradition of memorable mishaps, from Jarvis Cocker’s legendary stage invasion to Madonna’s cape catastrophe. With this year’s particularly spicy mix of nominees and performers, we’re betting the show’s insurance underwriters are already reaching for the paracetamol. 

The red carpet at London’s O2 Arena has turned into the world’s most glamorous game of spot-the-difference, as Britain’s finest (and a few international guests who fancied a trip to Greenwich) parade past in increasingly elaborate attempts to break the internet.

Frankly, we’ve lost track at this point, so have a nice picture of the mighty English Teacher while we try and work it all out before the ceremony starts in 40 minutes.

JADE certainly is making an effort.

And that’s not to be sniffed at.

Sorry.

Bless you, Oli, but it looks quite nippy out.

Honestly, you try writing all these captions.

Really, the ‘cover of Dork’ / ‘BRIT nominee’ crossover should be telling you all something here.

And frankly, well served, ma’am.

…but we’re especially delighted to see Rachel Chinouriri nominated tonight. Here she is. Champ.

Not pictured: any smack talk about Busted.

Eleven out of Stranger Things is here.

Oh wait, no. It’s former Dork cover stars Good Neighbours. Our mistake.

The Last Dinner Party are here. 

Sabrina Carpenter is here, with her effortless mix of Hollywood glam and pop superstar swagger. The US sensation, who’s not only set to light up the stage later with her electrifying performance but also bagged the coveted Global Success Award (making history as the first international artist to do so), is sporting what we’re calling a ‘lovely pink number’ – a colour we were BANNED from shooting her in for her Dork cover. At least now we know what success brings – a wider, brighter colour palette. 

Lovely jumper, Joe*.

* Yes, even Dork does fashion content now.

He’s come as B*Witched.

One thing’s for sure, Charli xcx is about the have the night of her life—and not just because she’s already clinched Songwriter of the Year. The pop genius is practically smothering the nomination board with her brilliance, landing a dazzling five nods that have everyone wondering if her mantlepiece has finally run out of shelf space. From being in the running for Artist of the Year to her trend‐smashing album ‘Brat’ battling it out for Mastercard Album of the Year, and even her sasstastic ‘Guess’ (featuring Billie Eilish) contending for Song of the Year, Charli is rewriting the playbook on pop dominance. She’s also shaking up the Dance Act and Pop Act categories — why settle for one when you can conquer them all?

It’s a full-throttle Charli takeover tonight, a green-tinged reminder that when it comes to creative smarts and chart-topping swagger, this is one artist who’s already won. Frankly, she should be taking home the lot.

Truly, the queen of our (and Sam Smith’s) heart.

Jamie Laing and Sophie Habboo are here. He hasn’t brought us any Candy Kittens. Rude.

The BRIT Awards are going full eco-warrior this year. In a move that’s less ‘rock and roll excess’ and more ‘mindful consumption please’, they’re sourcing everything from local seasonal veg to urban honey that’s made by London’s bees. Even the leftovers are getting a second life as green gas. There’s a punchline there, but we’re too classy to use it.

There’ll be some properly fancy seaweed-based food containers (they’ve won actual awards, darling) and reusable cups (presumably struggling indie bands will try and recoup by collecting them all then taking them back to the bar for the deposit). At least the losers tonight can feel smug about their carbon footprint, eh?

In a heartwarming red carpet moment, Sam Smith has just told Officially Certified Dork Icon CMAT that they’re “a fan” of her music. Quite right too. Who isn’t? Idiots, that’s who.

Teddy Swims, or Rachel Berry?

The oldies are the goodies.

Well hello there, Dear Reader – welcome to Dork’s absolutely-definitely-completely-professional coverage of the 2025 BRIT Awards. We’re settling in for another night of Britain’s ‘finest’ musical ‘talent’ trying their best not to swear on live telly, awkward presenter banter, and at least one performance that will have Daily Mail readers clutching their pearls by morning.

The show kicks off at 8pm-ish GMT on ITV1, ‘FYI’, and we expect HRH Queen Charli xcx will be winning everything. The first person to call it the BRATs goes in the Big Pop Skip.