Crashing Up

Ever thought about getting to you know yourself?
Well i did and sometimes i wish i didn't
You can't cancel plans on the voice in your head
Sometimes it's mine sometimes it's someone else
And it's not even an actor that i like

I guess that's kinda self destructive
When you ask i'll say i'm only messing
Open up my chest you'll find a big red button
And a warning not to press it
But the text has faded off it's just a guide it's window dressing
And i still need you
I'm torn apart i just needed a friend
Do i want to?
I've fallen down i'm crashing up again

Stepped out
Called the saviour complex anonymous hotline
And got the dial tone
Guess you can't save everyone
Especially if you've not been to the dentist in four years
And you're allergic to saving money

Searching symptoms online
Why do i feel so tired all the time?
Starting to miss the H in my ADHD
Worry all my friends secretly hate me
And i'll show them because, well
I couldn't even look in the mirror this morning

Had a shower with the light off
Couldn't face looking at my skin
Thought it best to leave the flat with false confidence
Than crippling embarrassment

I hate the sound of my own voice
I hate the sound of my own voice
Life's just an invoice you can't cash in
Clothes soaking wet from a dip in Big Guilt River
Chucked all my pennies in but still no wishes richer

And i can't stop looking at that picture
What goes down must come crashing up
But i wish the crashing would come crashing quicker
I just know that you'll be fine and i'll be even better

And i still need you
I'm torn apart i just needed a friend
Do i want to?
I've fallen down i'm crashing up again