Ella’s from somewhere else
You see her and you know
That you’re slipping through the felt
Through the seams of the place and the pain
I feel the pain of it sideways like a kiss, stellar rays
Like a beached whale, spaceship, black hole somewhere orbiting away
Ella takes me to the place
We first met in the cornfield, Not a cornfield, eating snacks
Snakebite sister, mother, sister, I havе lost what I kept
Five years old, fivе years ago, I first loved you
Your eyes like I’ve known them forever
I’ve known nothing like I know you
Ella takes me to the flatness of the loss
How the comfort of your touch now
Is a trigger without cause
How trusting, even knowing you is dangerous in my heart
I’m not able to keep constant, to keep on
In the magic, I found wonder, I found fear
In this room now, I still see him standing closer as I scream
Ella takes me in her stillness to the stream
Where you jumped in, fully submerged
And I felt inside a dream
Like I’ve known you, like you’re family, like I’m here
Ella takes me to the place we said goodbye
If I’d known it was the last time, I don’t know if I’d cry
Maybe I’d say something about what you mean
How even though we’ve reconnected, your loss ripped open the seams
Leaving nothing, just a vastness, in between
Now I feel like I am scifi, I am porous, I am mean
I want to go back to our mom’s porch and scream
You’re my brother, you’re my family, you are everything to me
You’re my brother, you’re my family, you are everything to me
Ella’s from somewhere else
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