Plastic Jesus

I don't care if it rains or freezes
Long as I got my plastic Jesus
Ridin' on the dashboard of my car
Through my trials and tribulations
And my travels through the nation
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far

Ridin' down the thoroughfare
With a nose up in the air
A wreck may be ahead but he don't mind
Trouble comin' he don't seek
He just keeps his eye on me
And any other thing that lies behind

With my plastic Jesus
Goodbye and I'll go far
I sit with my plastic Jesus
Sitting on the dashboard of my car

When I'm in a traffic jam
He don't care if I say damn
I can let all my curses roll
'Cause Jesus plastico doesn't hear
'Cause he has a plastic ear
The man who invented plastic saved my soul

With my plastic Jesus
I said goodbye and I'll go far
I sit with my plastic Jesus
Sitting on the dashboard of my car, oh yeah

And if I weave around at night
Policemen think I'm very tired
They never find my bottle though they ask
'Cause plastic Jesus shelters me
For his head comes off, you see
He's hollow and I use him like a flask

Save me

I don't care if it's dark or scary
Long as I got magnetic Mary
Ridin' on the dashboard of my car
I feel that I'm protected amply
I've got the love of the whole damn family
Ridin' on the dashboard of my car

With my plastic Jesus
I said goodbye and I'll go far
And I sit with my plastic Jesus
I said we're sitting on the dashboard of my car, oh-oh

I sit with my plastic Jesus (when I'm goin' fornicatin' I've got my ceramic Satan)
Help me Jesus, help me Jesus (sittin' on the dashboard of my car)
With my plastic Jesus (women know I'm on the level thanks to the wide-eyed stoneware devil)
Sneerin' from the dashboard of my car