Name Forgetter

Name Forgetter

(Busdriver)

My name ain’t Tucker

Biff

Or Spunk-Meyer

Don’t have a putting-iron

Nor is my hair gray

Hey that’s your name

And you got bird droppings on your sun visor from an air-raid of flying monkeys with head-propellers

You ask what’s The Weather

I have a wet umbrella

He has a parasol in the sand

So guess what it is us

And when you are in The Weather

You’re covered in tar and chicken feathers

Then there's orange cones around my bed

Cuz I be manufacturing dreams so you can put ‘em in you answering machine

And I sell them to people who get into fender-benders in bumper-to-bumper traffic

I use to think I was named after a star cluster

But it turns out it was a bumper sticker on a car bumper

An obscure reference

Not the pure essence

That’s what I’m asking

Your suggestions for a new one

You can name me after the inventor of the whoopee-cushion or a teenager who’s bud cookie cooking

Or I know

I’ll buy one when I rob this Bank of America branch with a finger poking through my pocket of these pair of pants

Then I will escape to Paris

France

And I’ll live on a yoga farm and join many hippie caravans

But now I’m selling finger paintings from a centerfold to be in a LA roach motel that’s rent controlled

Your name should cry out to women wearing crotchless panties and plastic aprons

Feeding chocolate candies that are wrapped in bacon to unsophisticated sloth

They don’t know their names

They write them backwards on their foreheads to remember

Oh their annoying

Tenderloin LA women

LA women rule with an obedient poise on a sitting stole

I salvage her bathing suit top when I clean out my swimming pool

She has an off switch

With a fat wallet

I made a cash deposit in her ovulating ovaries

What’s God and Satan’s college debating teams’ lawyer fee for moderating my name dispute

I swear I’m worth my body weight in saxophone reeds

(Radioinactive)

Inactive device to activate the sacrifice

Just another funny looking Mediterranean brother

As the head of an alien hovers

I’ve been meaning to mail it to mother

All these heathens are killing each other

A killer recovers by victims who suffer

I recover the killer with colorful silver psychic ability

Helmet facility

Paper and pencil

An apron's essential when carving your mental

The kitchen ware's bitchin there

Look at that frigidaire

Its covered in pigeon hair

Petition for the competition to fill out the questionnaire

Will a disgusted protestor appear

We discussed the contestant's sincere desire to respond to the questions they hear

Makes me question the answers by learning that German announcers are learning to pronounce your last name with an English accent

There’s tremendous skiing in Aspen

European assassins pretending to be Alaskan are defending their tea time contraption against masculine women

Don’t ask me when swimming in grass skirts and linens

I crash into women by accident grinning

Here's some cash for the cleaning of my cottage cheese ceiling

I’ve got a strange feeling about your outerspace healing

This clam chowder is from New Zealand

I had a bit of veal in the capital of potato peeling

I battle dull amateurs

Leave em embedded in edible bandages

Incredible Hulk Hogan smoking medical coke in the Club Med in Hoboken

I'm clubbing you over the head with the head of Hulk Hogan attached to a bazooka

Except I gave you a crew cut before hand

I’m the door man opening up your bags

And they give me a couple of bucks to do so

I knew no precautions would be taken

Sticking a wooden stake in a woman for taking too long

In the basement a bomb

I say so in the song

But it’s not the truth

Look at the doctor's boots

They’re made of solid gold

Call it sold

Sold that before I made it

Norton created file savers for aisle gazers

Shopping for Miles Davis

Wash cloth repellant

Osh kosh for felons

Let's mosh for Elvis

If you have fresh pot to sell us

Let’s wash the shelves kids

Just like the elves did

If you dislike the velvet

There’ll be fist fights in hell kid

So kiss my lapel

Using a pellet gun on the pelican fisherman Mel

Melodramatic developing habits of actors

A rabbits fatal fight with a badger

Fatal attraction

I labeled the caption with a close captioned rose napkin

Actions are greater than words

The waiter deserves a good tip

I cater to the nerves of wordsmiths

I’m here to preserve the weird and absurd in cowshit