the ghost of bob saget

(Are you there?)

(Ghost, glow, ghost, glow)

Last night I was haunted by the ghost of Bob Saget

He said, "You're more or less than just a faggot"

So I put on a dress and followed him to heaven

But first, I gave him a blowjob outside the 7-Eleven

The ghost of Franz Kafka came to me in a dream

He said that things are usually what they seem

So I put on my uniform and followed him to heaven

But first, he pierced my ears outside the 7-Eleven

Eleven

The ghost of my old man said "I like that beard"

He said, "I always wanted to have long hair"

I said, "Oh fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!"

But he didn't even care

The ghost who violated me, he thought he was funny

He took us all to Disney World

He tried to make us watch him stand in an alley

With no one there except for the ghost

(Ghost, blow, ghost, blow)

The ghost of some asshole summoned me to the office

He said, "How come you didn't go to the office?"

I said "I was afraid that they would make me feel dumb"

They said "You're being dumb" and shot me in my head

(I took my lunch)

Did you know that birds and other various creatures

Have a window of time right after their creation

Where they latch on to whatever they see as their mother

And presumably the object of their sexual frustration

They see another devil

They've all been alone

They've all been alone

They've all been alone

They're around

They're around here

The ghost of Bob Saget haunted me yesterday

He said "Pack your bag, 'cause we know you're gay"

So I threw him in a river in the USA

Wherever I go is so fucked anyway

(Uh-ohs, ghosts, oh, ghosts)

Oh no

Oh no

Oh no

Go to your cell!

Don't go!

Don't go!

Hell no!

Hell no!

Death came in bending over like he was sick

Promised I'd be really bad at sucking dick

But I had a gun painted in my hand

And Death said, "Hey, do you wanna be in my band?"

Today I got a package and it was my mom

She's called back up thrice, I knew that something was wrong

She was missing her ring, so I took out the scoop

And lurked for half an hour through her ashes too, da-da-da

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Last night I was haunted by the ghost of myself

I said, "You're probably going to kill yourself!"

He said that "When you do, don't bother leaving a note

'Cause everybody knows just where you're going!"

The ghost of David Lynch came to me last night

Said, "In heaven, everything ain't so right"

So I took off all my clothes and followed him to hell

But first,​ he waited fifteen years outside of my jail cell