The Girlie Had a Mustache

(Get down)

[Verse 1: The Fresh Prince]

I was.. cruisin' down the avenue, early one Friday

When I saw what I thought was a lady walkin' my way

I turned my back to use my Binaca Blast

And I said, "Hm-hm, excuse me," and she walked past

She was about 5'6", or maybe six and a half

With a body like a goddess, man, this girl was bad!

Tight leather pants that fit like a drum

And two big - yeah well, she had some

Anyway from behind she was fine

But when she turned around, her mustache was bigger than mine

At first I laughed, cause yo, to me that was funny

But the laughter ceased when she said: "Hey honey!"

At first I was confused, I was somewhat spell-bound

My mouth wide open and my chin on the ground

And then it hit me, like a bolt from the sky

I thought: hold up - wait - this girl is a guy?!

I tried to get away, I said, "Well, never mind

Maybe I'll see you some other time"

But then he grabbed me by my arm and told me I couldn't leave

And said, "Hey boy, you look mighty cute in them jeans!"

This had to be the most embarrassing thing in the world

My whole neighborhood was watchin me get beat up by a girl

And when my homeboys came, they didn't let me explain

They said, "Prince, you're a sucker, you should be ashamed"

My pride was busted right along with my eye

'Cause my homeboys didn't realize that this girl was a guy

And in retrospect I had to laugh

I can't believe I didn't notice that this girlie had a mustache

[Verse 2: The Fresh Prince]

I remember last year, the day was October 5th

And my family went away on a weekend ski trip

And they left $100 and a note by the phone

That said: 'Don't have any company till we get home'

No company? I'm 18! They must be jokin'!

And by 10 my crib was smokin'

All of my friends with their hands in the air

Screamin' (PARTY OVER HERE, PARTY OVER THERE!)

The party was jammin' till at least about 5

And as my friends were leaving, they were like "Homes, it was live!"

I thought the party was over, but really was just beginnin'

I turned around I thought I was dreamin', I saw four women

Dressed in red leather, tight to their booties

I gestured with my index finger: come here, cuties

I tried to be chill, I didn't wanna scare 'em

I said, "Hi, my name's the Prince," they said, "Hi Prince, we're your harem"

I didn't waste time, I started shootin' the gift

I said, "Y'all the type of girls I'd like to spend some time with"

I walked upstairs, my adrenaline was pumpin'

Till one hit me in the head with a lamp or somethin

The next thing I remember is wakin' up nearly dead

With another Fred Flintstone lump on my head

Of course I was mad, this type of thing can burn at you

They tied me up and they were stealin' my furniture

I said, "Yo sweetheart, what's wrong with you?

What kind of stuff is this for a nice girl like you to do?"

She turned around and smiled and laughed

And that's the way that I noticed that the girlie had a mustache

Not four girls, four guys!

They were in disguise, it was a set up all the time

I made a complete fool of myself that day

My parents were pullin' up just as the u-haul truck was pullin' away

They walked in, looked like they seen a ghost

There I was, gagged and bound and tied to the bed post

My pop walked in and asked a brilliant question

"Son, where's the furniture and why is your room so messy?"

Obviously Sherlock Holmes had been arrived

I said, "What do you think, dad, maybe we were robbed?!"

"I'm tied up, nothing's in one piece

Let's discuss the facts later, mom, please call the police"

I wanted to have a party, I thought I was clever

My pop told me I was on punishment forever!

And in retrospect I had to laugh

I can't believe I didn't notice that the girlie had a mustache