Letter from the Hole

Dear Raymond

Greetings from the hole!

How are you doing? I don't know if your last few letters got lost on the way down or what but it would be great to hear from you. How is life on the slope? Things are very much the same here, every day we build the mountain and every day we dig a little deeper into the earth. There is a load of new stuff being installed in the pit at the moment, we have a simulated daylight bulb in the centre of our cavern, full spectrum, and it's on at least 5 hours a day. A new set of bird song recordings are being trialled and there is a renewed sense of urgency and hope down here. Yeah it's dark, a lot of the time, very very dark. But we're getting Disney+ soon apparently.

We're yet to hear anything but I guess you must have been ordained by now. So what is the daily life of a “Hellkite”? It must be so bright and the air must be so clean on the mountain. Real trees and real fur and breath and feathers and all the animal things around you. We have our own priests down here of course, and they do their best not to tire of us. They're so kind to give us their time and to warn us about drifting off into the dark. David says they are manipulative but I think they're doing us all a favour. One day we can all be like them, we can all get up the mountain, we just have to follow the rules and keep building. David calls it a pyramid scheme, I said “it's not a pyramid lol it's much, much, much bigger than that”. Is it true the mountain reaches the moon now?

There are rumours about what's at the top. Have you ever heard this? Some say it's a big mirror, 1000 miles wide. Some say it's a video screen and all that's on it is an infinitely reoccurring picture of whoever is looking at it. Is that really true? Why would you want to see yourself a million times over stretching into forever? Sounds mental. I heard some people say it's really a statue up there but the face changes into the highest person on the mountain. This all sounds magical and lovely but I think it's going over my head. Have you seen it? Do they tell you what's at the top?

At the deepest, darkest part of the cave they say there is a snake, an immense golden snake that will eat anyone that comes near. I don't know if it's bollocks or what. The priests are very adamant about it and prevent anyone from talking about it. I think it sounds quite cool. Have you ever heard about this snake? I used to be afraid of it but now I think it's the priests that are afraid of it. On some 'nights' we do hear a rumbling that is quite different to the machinery.

David has got a terrible cough, he says it's from the thick black smoke down here but I don't think the fumes are anywhere near as bad as they used to be. Yes we do still have deaths, quite a lot to be honest. Electricity has become quite expensive so we're using fire a lot of the time for heat. Grandmas are a thing of the past. The mining isn't ideal for my back but that's age for ya. My eyes are also getting worse, some of the pigment has gone from them and it's a bit of a strain to see through the smoke especially in the dark. Who needs eyes though really, I can dig and I can carry and I'm going to do my bit to make the mountain bigger. Kevin's head has flattened right out, it's like a slab of cheese, whatever that is. Also, our skin is translucent, more like a jelly or a tadpole. Again, no idea what a tadpole is. Or a jelly actually. Hair is white but that's normal. We get all the vitamin D we need from food it's not like we need sun, plus we'd actually get burnt to a crisp if we ever went outside.

Handsome William is now one of the many shapes of black and grey that slope through our tunnels. I lent him 101 Dalmatians on CD-ROM but his brain started coming out of his nose. David has started to wear the sign of the snake on his face, he says it's the only way to get what we want.

Teeth. Teeth teeth teeth. They've all gone. Kevin has one or two left but mine are all gone. Can teeth fall out of a brain? That's what I feel like, toothless all over, especially in my noggin. I know we don't technically need them anymore and we do have a lot of flavours now. We've got edible brown, ordinary grey, partially submerged grey, extremely colourful brown — we've got flavours coming out of our ears. That reminds me, I'm mostly deaf now but whatever, there's been an incessant hum for most of my life but it's slowly being replaced by a kind of hissing. Neither of which I'm that bothered about. We've got channels too, hundreds of them. Lots of choice. I watched a true crime series about all these crimes and it was entirely true. Well, I say “watched” but I can't see or hear and we don't have a TV.

I don't know if I've been going mad or what but I just feel like maybe I'm starting to maybe possibly have some doubts about this whole mountain thing. It's just, we never get told when things are going to change. I know the mantra is to keep making it bigger, but when is big enough? It's been growing all my life and my parents' life and their parents' life. It's fucking massive. There are millions of us down here just swimming back and forth in the dark and we're dying without ever seeing a crack of light. It's shit in the pit. Please get back to us, we can't keep waiting we need to know when it's our turn to go up.

We have to know why we're building it, we have to know what's at the top. The mountain is in the exosphere and I'm in a disposable nappy. Toothless in the blackness beating my head against the walls of the cave.

But I'll stick with it, I know I will, it's just around the corner. We'll grow it and we'll win it and we'll expand it and we'll do all the things they want. I just miss you and I want to see the sun one day.

I'm 45% microplastics and 55% mountainhead, what a time to be barely alive.

- Q.F.