oh are you bipolar one or two?

The moment I turn twenty-three
I'll grab the gun my father gave to me
On my birthday, when I turned seventeen
I'll lay a note right next to me that says
Split the money that I have
Evenly between my mom and my dad
I'll speak so eloquently on what to do with each half
I'll tell Rebecca, "Buy a home down the road from Cypress Grove"
And I know, Mother, you don't want me to go
But I must go
And I'll tell Mark to buy a car
Please know, you're always in my heart
Even when my conscious self departs
You did your job
And to Chris, I hope you're smiling
'Cause you kept the boy from dying for almost a decade
Man, fuck what my friends say
One twitch of the finger, fuck around, and I'm dead weight
Don't believe what the press says, I did this for me
And no one else in the best way
To all of my friends, you know I wish you the best
And when you say my name, say that shit with your chest
And I think I should be clear
I don't want
I don't wanna be here
With people that, that I didn't know last year
At fucking all
You don't want to be here when I blow my top, off
Girl, I dont want to be here at all
At all, at all, at all, at all
I'll put the metal to skin and I'll go off on a whim and say
That I dont want to be here at fucking all
I wonder if tomorrow would've been better
In all honesty, it don’t even matter at all
‘Cause it bends, it breaks, it falls
And I'm here right now
So just hear me out, know I let you down
But I can't, no I can't, I can't
Change anything, this trajectory
It was meant for me, it was meant to be
Don't let my mom see me before they bury me
'Cause the man in that coffin, shit, he's barely me
Plenty people gone say they were there for me
They weren't there for me, they didn't care for me, so
I don't wanna be here
With people that, that I didn't know last year
At fucking all
You don't want to be here when I blow my top, off
Girl, I dont want to be here at all
At all, at all, at all, at all
I'll put the metal to skin and I'll go off on a whim and say
That I dont want to be here at fucking all