You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch

[WILL]

All the windows were dark. No one knew he was there

All the who's were all dreaming sweet dreams without care

[k.d. lang]

You're a mean one Mr. Grinch

You really are a heel

You're as cuddly as a cactus and as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch!

You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel!

You're a monster, Mr. Grinch!

Your heart's an empty hole

Your brain is full of spiders

You've got garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch!

I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!

[WILL]

All I need is a reindeer!

So he took his dog Max, and he took some black thread

And he tied a big horn on the top of his head

Then the Grinch said, "Giddyup!" and the sleigh started down

To the homes where the Who's lay a-snooze in their town

"This is stop number one," the old Grinchy Claus hissed

As she climbed to the roof, empty bags in her fist

Then he slid down the chimney, a rather tight pinch

But if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch

Then he slithered and slunked, with a smile most unpleasant

Around the whole room, and took every present

Pop-guns ! Pompo-nuts! And cookies! And Drums!

Checkerboards! Mistle-beens! Popcorn! And plums!

And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly

Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney

[k.d. lang]

You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch

You're a nasty, wasty skunk!

Your heart is full of unwashed socks

Your soul is full of gunk, Mr. Grinch!

[WILL]

The three words that best describe you

Are as follows, and I quote

"Stink, stank

[k.d. lang & WILL]

Stunk!"

You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch

With a nauseous super naus

[WILL (& k.d. lang)]

You're a crooked jerky jockey

And you (Drive a crooked hoss, Mr. Grinch!)

You're a three-decker sauerkraut

And toadstool sandwich (With arsenic sauce!)