5 Years

I imagined Nick Valensi wrapped his long, long arms around me

And they went around my body almost seven times

He said "Baby I've been thinking and I think I will quit drinking

And I think on my next birthday I'll turn thirty five

And I will settle down with you, we'll make sweet love the whole night through

You'll convert into a Jew, sit shiva for your former life"

And I said "Nick although you're handsome, I'll hold out for Isaac Hanson

And he'll get his braces back when I become his wife"

Me and Hanson will go dancing, me and Hanson true romance

Me and Hanson take a chance, lock the door it's party time

All our babies will be born November seventeenth I'm sure

And we'll get a Cookiepuss from the local carvel store

Then our brothers will come over for a big game of Red Rover

Everybody holding hands, break the chain, break the chain

What would I do when you've had a few?

Oh would I stay or go away?

Would you grieve if I chose to leave?

What would you say if I was in pain?

Last night Sergio Valenti customized some denim for me

Special for my special shape, they fit me perfectly

Now I've got this new ensemble, certain circles i'm a bombshell

But a guardian anglo keeps saying "Negro please"

Pay attention and you'll notice one man's chops is one man's bloatus

One man's taint is one man's choad is one man's mr. clean

And every scene I've ever seen becomes a tootsie roll to me

A little tasteless waxy turd that gets stuck in my teeth

And everywhere I try to go the cars are moving much too slow

I said "Excuse me Mr. Johnson" he said "call me Beau"

"I think this is my biggest fear, the road before me is unclear"

He said "close your eyes my child and let the old man steer"

I said "oh, thanks anyway, what would Fenton Lawless say?"

Five years in the saddle and I've gotta take the reins

What would I do when you've had a few?

Oh would I stay or go away?

Would you grieve if I chose to leave?

What would you say if I was in pain?

Five years in the saddle and I've gotta take the reins

Five years in the saddle, five years in the saddle

Five years in the saddle and I've gotta take the reins

Five years in the saddle and I've gotta take the reins

Five years in the saddle, five years in the saddle

Five years in the saddle and I've gotta take the reins