Underground

[Verse 1]

My head is pounding, I can't stop the pounding

I think it is going to explode

And kill everybody who's in close proximity

To the place I call my home

And they'll make a moving made for TV movie

For Life Time all about my life

That ends with an epitaph one that will make you laugh

That says "great mom, okay wife"

At it'll be funny to the people who know me

Who know if my body's not burned

My soul will spend an eternity in misery

Tethered and bound to this earth

So I'm not a dick or a stick in the mud

Always ruining things for my friends

I mustn't forget when I see the sun set that

Tomorrow it will rise again

[Chorus]

So I tattoo instructions on my ass

That say "don't ever put this body in a casket

Burn it and put the ashes in a basket

And throw them in the Puget Sound

I don't ever want to be underground"

Oh no, oh no

[Verse 2]

I'm wearing size thirteen basketball shoes

And lavender fishnets

I'm freaked out and fucked up

And I'm standing alone in an alley with you

Wanting to show you a cure for your hiccups

But instead I close my eyes

The needles are numbered so I'm writing you letters

And I cannot disguise

The fact that I'm nervous when we are together

And so I fantasize

That the nights will get shorter and the days will get better

I feel a kick inside and decide

If this is a girl I'm naming her Heather

She'll look just like you, but her hair will be feathered

She'll say how you died before you ever met her

Her hair will be feathered

[Verse 3]

My head is pounding, I can't stop the pounding

I think it is going to explode

There are plus and minuses to sinusitis

Like sometimes I get to go home

But mostly it hurts so bad I think I'm dying

I just blew my nose and now I feel like crying

And the dreams I have are all of my past lives

And the seizures would paralyze me in the night

And I wake up, clutching my teddy bear tight

And I'm drooling and trying to turn on the light

All I can do is hold fast and sit tight

But what if they forget, 'cause you know they just might

[Chorus]

So I tattoo instructions on my ass

That say "don't ever put this body in a casket

Burn it and put the ashes in a basket

And throw them in the Puget Sound

I don't ever want to be underground"

Oh no, oh no