You Can't Dance

[Intro]

Hey man, I've seen ya, think you're rockin' it on the floor

You look like a moron, who let you in the door?

To put the question bluntly, maybe your feet's deformed

They should slap you in the teeth when you put your dancing shoes on

You can't dance

[Verse 1]

Why don't you just nail your feet to the floor?

Homeboy, what's the use?

Any time you wanna step inside a party

First think of an excuse

You dance like a fat old lady

Not sayin' that fat old ladies ain't nice

But every time you try to get one move right

The old lady done did it twice

You can't dance

[Verse 2]

You big, no dancin', disco disaster

The worst I ever saw

They should drop-kick you in the neck

And drag you off the floor

In every discotheque, I see you there

In the middle of the crowd

Lookin' like you got eight or nine left feet

Dragging all around

You can't dance

[Verse 3]

Take my advice, don't move

You'll never get the knack

If I danced like you, I'd sneak out the party

And wouldn't be coming back

On the floor, you're a dinosaur

Yeah, boy, that's how you move

You look like Ralph Kramden

Or a Donald Duck cartoon

You can't dance

[Verse 4]

You wanna come to my party?

I wouldn't give you a chance

You tried to take breakdance lessons

Ended up in an ambulance

Wouldn't it be funny

If they put you on Solid Gold?

You dance like you got arthritis already

What'll happen when you get old?

You can't dance

[Verse 5]

Yeah, why are you so stiff?

Is it somethin' that your mother did?

Maybe you grew up 'round can't-dance people

When you were a can't-dance kid

You live in a can't-dance house

Went out in a can't-dance car

Your doofy can't-dance father

Got drunk in a can't-dance bar

You take a can't-dance bath

Put on your can't-dance cologne

Go out to a can't-dance party

So you wouldn't have to can't-dance all alone

You can't dance

[Outro]

You can't dance

You can't dance

You can't dance

You can't dance

Homeboy, will you please get off the floor, you moron?

You can't dance

I'm telling you, no, I'm just kidding

You can't dance

You can't dance

You can't dance