Ambient Heat

ambient heat
moving closer to me
ambient heat
in the bend of my sheets
ambient heat
ambient heat

a palette of tools 
to puncture to prime to pin up
to pause
arms crossed
trying to picture 
to pitch 
to resist
ambient heat
ambient heat

who do I place 
in that hot seat
the kid the kid 
that I was too afraid to meet
who skirts around 
the edge of my fear
with grace desire death 
beat after beat after beat 
after rapturous beat
ambient heat
ambient heat

and over here
it’s cake for breakfast
over here it’s cake for lunch
waste not
want not
a knot a knot a knot
I know I know I know I know
ambient heat
ambient heat

a frame a guise oh god
oh look
I’m making a song
I’m making a song
about ambient heat
that keeps that keeps 
ambient heat
that keeps that keeps 

dangle that hook
dangle that hook

I’m dressed for bed
I’m giving up my looks
whether I like it or not
I’m not as I should
be
bee
no wait it’s a wasp
to keep me awake
see I’m brave after the sting
but not in the wake
of waking up to a swollen foot
to the end of a book
to the beginning of another
that talks about a time 
in which my mother my father 
will no longer be there
and who shall I ask
who should care
and shouldn’t I be 
someone to receive 
the reaching
the reaching
the reaching

ambient heat
moving closer to me
ambient heat
in the bend of my sheets

a sound
a death sentence
a scientific 
poetic
entrance
exit 
fix it
fix it
fix it