Behemoth

All the tears, sweat, blood

that went into building you

Terrazzo from Italy

ceramic slipper baths

Yellow zellige tiles

happy like California

to erase the deep blues

from our bitter aftermath

Walls dabbed carefully

in soft roman clay

in deep earthy tones

to elicit “OK”

To elicit inner peace

clear skin, good health

To evoke that fine line

between nature and wealth

Sparkling cyan pool

that I swam in 10 times

Teak loungers I so rarely

relaxed out upon

“There’s not enough sun”

“Takes one day to heat it”

“This canyon is shady…”

“THIS CANYON’S A POND!”

Had something to do

with the bones, dna

The structure, the heart

the lack of proper veins

I know we don’t fit but

you’re hard to give away

You were once so adored

You were something I saved

All the dreams I un-birthed

All of our unlived lives

And the real sunken cost

of just how hard I had tried

The idea still stings

But I let the house win

Behemoth of my heart

Goodbye is the right thing