Human First

[Intro]

Yeah

[Verse]

I been healin' since before I knew I was hurt

I been feelin' deeply since before I knew the perks

Short-changin' myself since before I knew my worth

But now I'm puttin' bein' human first

I be tryin' not be vague when I talk anxiety

But it be so hard to explain somethin' that's inside of me

If you could easily relate, I wouldn't need to hide and see

Try not to now, but I got this New York pride in me

Got older, realized most my OGs lied to me

Well, they ain't liеd to me, they lied to thеmselves

The truth is with me, they was probably tryin' to help

Or they just lived a certain story they was tryin' to tell

Tryin' validate their trauma, so they put it on another

Like how whiskey ain't all I stole from my—

Nah, I can't do that

I try to give you all myself, blaze new trails, new maps

But there's just some shit that's better not done through raps

Spend too much time on these human zoo apps

Can't relate to how you eatin', wouldn't make it through apps

With you, obsessed with the capital

It's makin' it hard for me to do what I have to do

Used to feel impostor syndrome when I'd sing about drinkin'

Romanticized it, never truly felt that I was sinkin'

Then one day, I looked up and I'm ten years in

And now I'm wonderin' who draw the line between habit and addiction

Strugglin' with attachment, my heart don't got no Google Drive

So when it get to big or too much, I don't know who's inside

Approachin' thirty, built a career without suits and ties

Approachin' thirty, made it to heights only few could climb

And who knew but I?

But I ain't do it for I-told-you-sos at dinners with so-and-so

Hit the whole gang with the okie doke, they still don't even know it, bro

Tryna balance findin' peace with the hunger to show 'em, though

Yeah, water choppy, so I row it slow

Thin line between obsessive and focused, though

Lotta days I walk it on the side where I ain't supposed to go

Tryna move fast, but minds always open slow

The best that I could do is just show the growth, yeah

And it's happenin', I swear

I recognize me these days when I pass him in the mirror

And be pleasantly surprised the shit I happen not to care about

Almost lost wifey, now we in couples therapy

Few sessions in, but shit's startin' to get more clear to me

Hopin' who I'm not don't lose me, who I could be

I've lived a lot for others, so I'm feelin' like a rookie

It's refreshin'

As I leave my youth and speak my truth

And live the thought that I don't gotta be like you

I mean, I do

We all just tryna find the space, so this time, I gotta take mine

[Outro]

And I really love that

I love it, I love that sense

There's a sense of security in it

Like, I don't have to

I don't have to make it before you leave

Yeah, yeah, exactly

I can take my time

Exactly

I love that

Yeah, that's where I feel like I'm at now

Yeah

And I've been tryin' to, like, be in that

Yeah, that's the confidence

Yeah

And that manifests itself

It's good, it's good

Yeah