Call of the Wighat

Well, how do you keep a moron in wighat suspense?
I'll tell you that later, but first I'll tell you this

Ah, hoo (Hoo)
Ah, ah, ah, ah (Hoo)

Well, now Willy tore his hair out and Sally grew a beard
Vince went a little ape shit and cut off his ear
Ruby went to town completely upside down
Sally spilled some powder and had a tantrum in her gown

She went (Hoo)
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah (Hoo)

Yeah, mama had twin babies on one sweet summer day
She dropped one on the head, I'm the one that got away
Protected by my wighat and my Frederick's snakeskin pants
I rode my horse to Hollywood and did a wondrous dance

(Hoo)
Ah, ah (Hoo)

Well, great jumpin' catfish, do the limbo on my face
But no one seems to notice when my wighat's out in place
My wighat lifts me higher than I've ever been before
You can go and buy yours at all better wighat stores

I said (Hoo)
I said (Hoo)

Ahh

Bye-bye, wighat
Bye-bye, wighat
Bye-bye, wighat
Bye-bye, wighat