This Ain't Hawaii

[Verse 1]

The girls are on the beach in their string bikinis

The guys are strutting, proudly showing off their weenies

Top 40 garbage spewing from expensive radios

As they primp their pampered bodies and put schnozz-guard on their nose

[Chorus]

This ain't Hawaii

This ain't Hawaii

This ain't Hawaii

[Verse 2]

Prep school blondes and musclemen with perfect heinies

There's more money on this beach than all the tea in China

The girls all look like Nancy Drew, the boys like Jim McMahon

Their fat, white, ugly parents look like Morey Amsterdam

[Chorus]

This ain't Hawaii

This ain't Hawaii

This ain't Hawaii

[Drum break]

[Verse 3]

In droves they hit the beach in Porches and Ferraris

The sun has cooked their brain, they're on a surf safari

The lake is full of creepy snobs, I start to get annoyed

This isn't Honolulu, dummy, this is Illinois

[Chorus]

This ain't Hawaii

This ain't Hawaii

This ain't Hawaii

[Outro]

They're surfing in Wilmette

They're surfing in Wilmette

They're surfing in Wilmette

They're surfing in Wilmette