I Used To Be A Real Piece Of Shit

Confessions of a full-blown narcissist
I guess all the attention really went to my head
Not easy being six foot tall, a leggy blonde
Dressed like wonder woman at her day job

Used to have this recurring dream
I could shoot lightning from my hands
I was a tiger queen
Was the world's strongest man
Took up throwing knives
Started stepping on heads

You have to break a few eggs
To get to the top
You gotta dress for the job you want

I used to be a real piece of shit
But I'm working on, working on it
I used to be a real piece of shit
But I'm working on, working on, working on it

I thought I'd move to Miami
Thought I'd get a fresh start
Become a cardio bunny
On dance with the stars
Got a personal trainer with a swimmers V
Got my body fat percent way down below three

I threw out my back on TV
And the painkillers helped, but they made me crash my yellow humvee

I used to be a real piece of shit
But I'm working on, working on it
I used to be a real piece of shit
But I'm working on, working on, working on it

I used to be a real piece of shit
But I'm working on, working on it
I used to be a real piece of shit
But I'm working on, working on, working on it

I used to be a real piece of shit
But I'm learning the piano, I know all Billy Joel's hits
I used to be a real piece of shit
But I'm getting new hobbies. I'm taking up golfing