New Red Pants

I've got new red pants
Got them from a stranger, yeah
I look so attractive that it could kill you
It could kill me too

I've got scoliosis
I need tylenol
Help me break this fever
Throw me a curveball
I'll swing at that curveball yeah

I've got bad tinnitus
Drives me up the wall
Leave me underwater
I don't want to hear it
I don't want to hear at all
I'm not into romance
I am into blood
Won't you bring them a cup, dear
They're gonna like mine just like Joan of Arc

I've got tendonitis
God, I need my hands
Won't you grant me this one
I'll make a trade with you
You can have my red pants