El Niño Considers His Failures

Obsessed with my success and other people's ages
Don't need to tell you that I'm jaded
Stopping at a Waffle House off of 85
I haven't moved an inch since I was seventeen
Maybe my gut's a little bigger
And my shirts don't fit right anymore
What's the point of pushing on anymore?
I'm always tired, or maybe I'm always bored
I was told that I'd be fine when I got old
But now I'm thinking that's a lie
So l down these fries before they get too cold

If I don't feel love in the places I call home
Can I feel anything in general?
Is it me? Can I get through this?
Is there a way to wash it off, or is this stain permanent?

I watch my double descend into the Echo with me
He's got a craft beer in one hand and a pocket full of Molly
Everyone's always a few deep
They mash up pop songs I've never heard
But I know the melody
Now his hands are up in the air like everything's a possibility
Fifteen years on and I still hate this
But I bet even he'd call me a friend
Because I'm the only one stuck living like this –
Alone in my own head
I feel like ECT has corrupted my core memory
I've been here before, and I'll be here when everybody goes