Joana, in Five Acts

Birthday cards on the fridge
Hung next to pictures of me and you
I set them right the day you died
But couldn't bring myself to throw them right away
Goodbye

The day he called: impossible
You're drifting out inside the room where I was born
I held you up, not strong enough
Said my goodbyes and watched your smile fade away
It's not right

I can't be honest. I'm a bit demolished when I'm
Picturing holding your body in the room
The white sheets I'm facing;
My nervous pacing that you're just another heart
That I can't bring back to this side of the ground

Now I'm scared of what a stranger might say to me
And I can't keep my demons at bay
I'm paranoid and showing every indication
Talking more to myself each day
I'm paranoid and given every reason for why you had to leave
But why'd you leave without me?

I'm too lazy to leave my home
I'm far too bored to let it go
Like it mattered in the end
Or like it did any good while you were still here
I can't pick up the phone anymore
I won't pickup the phone anymore
I'm always just stuck missing you now that you've disappeared