Overstrand

I reside in Prince Of Wales Drive

In a mansion block named "Primrose"

With constant hot water it's got all it oughta

Behind Victorian windows

But nonetheless, I must confess

I'm looking for something grander -

If you could see it, you'd agree

It's better to be an Overstrander

If one rich hag should like my gags

And drunkenly drag me to bed in Overstrand-

"Stand still while I take your picture!"

I would give her the negatives

If she could deliver the keys of Overstrand

(And then I would evict her)

Oh! To be one of the bourgeoisie

Living in luxury south of the river

I'll flirt and philander

I'll take huge back-handers

I just want to be an Overstrander

If that won't work, I'll lift my shirt

For a certain dirty old man in Overstrand

And I'll see that he is happy!

When he's dead, his will-

Instead of bequeathing it to his in-breds as planned-

Will hand Overstrand to me!

And see that I am happy!

I'll ponce, I'll pander, I'll gerrymander -

I just want to be an Overstrander!

Beware, Miss Clark!

A walk in the park

In winter the darkness can fall so fast

You may lose your way, and slip into the river

No-one will guess that beneath this false chest

There's a gentleman dressed up as you-

I'll fool them all!

The men will call, and I'll make them quiver!

I'll lie, I'll slander, I'll write for The Evening Standard

I just want to be an Overstrander!

...please?