Jan Egeland

Gray hair, glasses
Suitcase
Humble, clever
And constantly working for peace
Uganda, Congo
And the Oslo treaty plan
Oh my god, what a plan
Not as famous as Gahr Støre
Not a daddy's boy like Jens
But when hand-grenades are flying
There's just one man you can trust
When there's war and all is hell
Send in Jan Egeland
The United Nations superhero man
Mad dictator with a gun
Send in Jan Egeland
Oh, how I wish I was Jan Egeland
Blue eyes, firm hands
Nice legs
Clean shaved body
Drinkin' his protein shakes
Spray tan, skin cream
And buttocks like he was 18
He's a peacekeeping machine
And he stares into the mirror
Flexing muscles in the night
And he says, "Boy, I think you're ready
To protect some human rights"
When there's war and all is hell
Bring in Jan Egeland
The United Nations superhero man
He plays golf with Kofi Annan
And looks at maps with George Cloon
Oh, how I wish that I was Jan Egeland

Egeland (Egeland)
Egeland (Egeland)

When he's sad he goes to funerals
In unusually heavy rain
Large amounts of water in his face
But that doesn't hide his pain
He breaks down just like a homo
And starts crying just like a girl
But I guess you can cry and still be a man
If your day job is saving the world
When there's war and all is hell
Send in Jan Egeland
He's a muscle muscle pumping crying god
If there's one man you should trust
It is the Janny boy
Oh, how I wish that I was Jan Egeland