The One Who Holds The Light

[Verse 1] Yeah, sick of everybody who watching, thinkin' I have it all Pocket full of bottles of opiates and this Adderall Stolen from the purse in my mom's room Telling me, "Do as I say, do not do as I do" Thinkin' 'bout the end more than the beginning most days Feeling like I'm lost and permanently in roleplay If I say this, imagine the things I don't say Wanna talk shit? Just know, I don't play The game won't save like a checkpoint Wanna speak outta turn? Go ahead, boy Put an X in the middle of yo' head, boy I been makin' moves like I'm already dead, boy Lost soul tryin' to find a way to love myself I got hurt, then hurt somebody else Angry every time I'm lookin' back I'm a misfit with a — to my past [Chorus] Whole life, I've been looking for myself with no light So dark in my heart, so don't mind When I'm drowning again I made a friendship with all of my sins I need some help but don't know where it is Give me some hope if you know where it went If you really love me, then tell me again (Tell me again) [Verse 2] Yo, Tesla whip, I take off at light speed I feel the pull of two wolves inside me Good versus evil, both know and like me Childhood home just fucked up my psyche Fighting with demons that hide the truth They look like some angels when light hits 'em at certain angles At others, they look like a stranger So do me a favor, don't try to move Got blood on my Vans, dirt in the fingernails A couple of bands that I need just to breath well Thinkin' 'bout the shit that I done, I don't sleep still Wonder if the devil sees me in the details So weighed down like wet clothes But I still put the city on my back No time for the hatin' and broke hoes Escape writing rhymes in this pad Back in the dark, I live alone But my worst pieces found a place in there to hide Took roots and grew where everything would die If they get too big and hold, I won't survive So I had to go illuminate my life In the deepest depths of all the rooms inside I would learn to love that ugly, but would find That I still don't know the one who holds the light, yeah [Chorus] Whole life, I've been looking for myself with no light So dark in my heart, so don't mind When I'm drowning again I made a friendship with all of my sins I need some help but don't know where it is Give me some hope if you know where it went If you really love me, then tell me again (Tell me again)