The One Who Holds The Light

[Verse 1]

Yeah, sick of everybody who watching, thinkin' I have it all

Pocket full of bottles of opiates and this Adderall

Stolen from the purse in my mom's room

Telling me, "Do as I say, do not do as I do"

Thinkin' 'bout the end more than the beginning most days

Feeling like I'm lost and permanently in roleplay

If I say this, imagine the things I don't say

Wanna talk shit? Just know, I don't play

The game won't save like a checkpoint

Wanna speak outta turn? Go ahead, boy

Put an X in the middle of yo' head, boy

I been makin' moves like I'm already dead, boy

Lost soul tryin' to find a way to love myself

I got hurt, then hurt somebody else

Angry every time I'm lookin' back

I'm a misfit with a — to my past

[Chorus]

Whole life, I've been looking for myself with no light

So dark in my heart, so don't mind

When I'm drowning again

I made a friendship with all of my sins

I need some help but don't know where it is

Give me some hope if you know where it went

If you really love me, then tell me again (Tell me again)

[Verse 2]

Yo, Tesla whip, I take off at light speed

I feel the pull of two wolves inside me

Good versus evil, both know and like me

Childhood home just fucked up my psyche

Fighting with demons that hide the truth

They look like some angels when light hits 'em at certain angles

At others, they look like a stranger

So do me a favor, don't try to move

Got blood on my Vans, dirt in the fingernails

A couple of bands that I need just to breath well

Thinkin' 'bout the shit that I done, I don't sleep still

Wonder if the devil sees me in the details

So weighed down like wet clothes

But I still put the city on my back

No time for the hatin' and broke hoes

Escape writing rhymes in this pad

Back in the dark, I live alone

But my worst pieces found a place in there to hide

Took roots and grew where everything would die

If they get too big and hold, I won't survive

So I had to go illuminate my life

In the deepest depths of all the rooms inside

I would learn to love that ugly, but would find

That I still don't know the one who holds the light, yeah

[Chorus]

Whole life, I've been looking for myself with no light

So dark in my heart, so don't mind

When I'm drowning again

I made a friendship with all of my sins

I need some help but don't know where it is

Give me some hope if you know where it went

If you really love me, then tell me again (Tell me again)