DEARLY DEPARTED

I pray I find you at the bottom of the hill
I pray I make it outta Texas
I pray my AC come back on
My momma stuck outside her job
My sister just asked for a Lexus

Can Jesus send me a message?
What's the point of havin' a best friend if you end up losin' him?
Woah, don't view my text messages
Woah, don't view my text messages
Don't view my bad side
Only go on the 'Gram to show you motherfuckers the best side

Who am I?
Who am I? Who am I?
Why I hide? Huh
For the great Mary J. Blige
All alike, I made a mill' off a lie
And I lie so I write another lie
RCA don't know, it wasn't 'bout y'all
No lies, 'bout how me and my brothers been traumatized
And I must keep creatin' truths and hooks to get up outta this hell for myself
Seashells

Dearly departed
Look what you've started
I've been so heartless
I try, I try, I try
Why?
Why?
Why?
Try

Big dog, I feel like I don't got anybody on my side no more
High is the low, truth be told
It's hard to ignore, hard to endure
Where's my stamina in this life?
Make sure my family tight
More rubies on my neck, and to catch me at night
Lookin' immaculate, no one in sight
Standards are high, expectation is low
Wake up sweatin' at night, mind in a flight
I don't get scared no more when I'm standin' on the mountaintop
I'm afraid of people dyin'

Rest in peace Wako, Ray, Rita
Wish you could've took me to Japan
Back ten years, holdin' my hand, felt like a hundred grand
Wish some letters didn't fade, love will never do the same
Out the window screamin' your name, blessings
Mama on track, my dad got my back
My sister graduated, now she racin'
Love her through the days and whiskey in my hand
Bloody colored triggers wrapped around my wrist
Lookin' magnificent, man
No stoppin' me, no boggin' me down

I know myself, me and the obstacles now
I done shit on myself too much to not know how to move properly now
On the property now, money gets foul
Keep your wits about you
They stretch the truth longer than the Nile
Eyes full of evil, mouth full of vile
They tracin' your smile
Stay alert, big dog
Only one life is offered to you
(Only one life is offered to you)

How many sides to a story can there be when you saw it with your own eyes?
I got all my thoughts out on records y'all won't ever hear
Try to give it time
Find that truth trickles down, hits the fear
And freezes over like a dagger to the spine
When somebody that you know throws you in the fire
How do you survive?
I kicked down the door inside a home
I did it all just to save a friend's life
Little did I know, the one who pulled the strings was once on my side
I had just moved to Texas, tried to make it right

I do not feel obliged to dismiss the truth because of how I feel about our time
If I knew what you would do to someone you owe money to, you wouldn't get a dime
Watchful when you win, sorry 'bout your plans
That was all a scam, you won't understand
Pass the weight off to your friends and never face the truth
Because you never learned how to be a man
And it's not my fault, and it's not my problem anymore
That's just where you stand
That's just who you are
That's your cross to bear
You could talk to God
I don't wanna hear, motherfucker!