WHEN I BALL

My mama said I didn't come into this world with tears
Instead I welcomed her with open eyes and open ears
Became the glue to a few things that couldn't be repaired
We saw a future in each other blendin' hope and fear
Some things you don't get to decide, it's just a fate you share
I used to try to hold the weight that she would need to bear
Watched uncles goin' on vacation for a couple years
When they came back, they needed clothes and had no souvenirs
I pick up the phone, they're callin' us from correction
But nothin' is wrong, it's fillin' my heart with questions
My mama is home, I'm followin' her expressions
A drop in her tone, some things that she had to mention
I nodded, I listened, she had all of my attention
When you on your own, there's gonna be some directions
I need you to follow and never make an exception
I nodded, she held me and wished I would be protected
You always used to tell me
I can be anything I wanna be
But it's hard to see, it's hard to be
You always used to tell me
I can be anything I wanna be
But it's hard to see, it's hard to be with you
On my sucker-free shit since I was a fetus
Pullin' up at the doc in a Mazda 626
Bet my dad was trippin' bad, hit the gas like car chase
Light blue in the back, mama gettin' labor pain
Dropped my sister at the bozo house was twenty-three
Sweat drippin' down the face like river runnin' free
Dark mornin' with the fog pourin' in and out the trees
Every movement through they eyes seem to zoom at light speed
Before me she lost one still born tragedy
Grittin' the teeth down to the root, pain like a cavity
Holdin' hands like they glued radio channel on news
Valentine's with a X up on the calendar, they knew
I would be a fuckin' baller like them posters on the wall
A little stain could be the beauty in it all
Amidst all the trouble most your luck was rubbin' off
Stickin' to ya like moss, you my Kate, you my rock, forever
You always used to tell me
I can be anything I wanna be
But it's hard to see, it's hard to be
You always used to tell me
I can be anything I wanna be
But it's hard to see, it's hard to be with you
Here I go, I'm gonna spread my wings
All grown up like go and look at me
You'll always be (you'll always be)
A part of me (a part of me)
Here I go, I'm gonna spread my wings
All grown up like go and look at me
You'll always be (you'll always be)
A part of me (a part of me)
That's why
A part of me, a part of me
A part of me, a part of me
A part of me, a part of me
A part of me, a part of me
A part of me, a part of me
That's why